Butterfly Warriors

Rescue Me....

2010-06-11T17:10:00.000-07:00

Wow... Haven't written here in forever.

I have still been writing notes for a variety of studies and devotions but for personal reasons...and maybe this is personal too.

Today I was reading in Galatians... and when I hit verse 3 I had to stop...and think about it. Let me refresh your memory:
³Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, ⁴who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, ⁵to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

So I bolded a couple of parts that stood out to me. You know, one more time... it isn't anything we did...it is what He did. That seems to be such a hard concept. Once we are saved we feel the need to not only perfect ourselves but also everyone around us...

Think of it this way.... when someone is rescued it is because they are helpless and unable to fix thier situation. When someone is rescued they are beyond their own capabilities. The rescuer MUST be stronger or have more ability than the rescuee, right?

Stick with me here...

So on my desk I have this little day by day devotional. After I had done my Bible reading and run errands I came home to work..I sat down and instinctively turned it to today's page....

Note well the words of Jesus... It is not "Go, labor on, " as perhaps you imagine [but]... Come to me and rest."
Never, never did Christ send a heavy laden one to work; never never did He send a weary one, a sick or sorrowing one away on such service. For such the Bible only says, "Come, come, come".

There are tons of hurting people in churches...right now. Spiritually exhausted, beat up, rejected.... and rather than being able to rest and be real they are encouraged to "Get over themselves... Lay down rights..... Speak Life...." as if somehow working for the Kingdom will heal them...deliver them.... make them whole.

It is like slapping someone who is paralyzed because they can't get up. If you don't put your pain aside (notice I did not say get healed) and get over it then somehow you are unspiritual, backslidden, or worthless.

The answer of course is Jesus. Purely, unadultrated, with no bells and whistles. Jesus. Jesus in my mind, Jesus in my heart, Jesus in my soul/spirit/life. He says in scripture that He is the Way the Truth and the Life...He is the Living Water...no one else can quench your thirst... and if He leads me beside still waters as the psalms say...and He goes searching for me when I wander, then I am secure in knowing that my life is secure in Him.

Nothing else matters. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else. It does not have to be confirmed by anyone else. We are being rescued and set on track over and over and over and over......

Sick and hurting people cannot minister, they cannot counsel, they cannot correct...They will always see the other person through the haze of thier own pain, like a cornered and hurt animal that bites anything that comes near to protect itself.

I have thought a lot about accountability, about correction, about counsel...and I have come to the conclusion...for me....that ultimately my accountability is to Christ, ultimately I am in no position to correct or counsel anyone... I can pray for them... I can encourage them that they are precious and dearly loved...and that He will never let them out of His sight... but how dare I play the Holy Spirit in another's life? I have been guilty of that too many times.

So... I recognize my need to be rescued by someone bigger than myself...and folks, that isn't another human. Your opinion of someone else's actions is only based on what you can see or perceive through your own haze of pain. Worth prayerfully considering ... but that's all. If you are tired tonight.. spiritually beat up.... there is no need for you to pretend to be a spiritual giant. Being humble is not degrading yourself in front of your peers... it is being able to say with certainty... It's not who I am... it's Who He is.

When children are tired and refuse to rest they are cranky and difficult. I don't think it is much different for us.
Just sayin'

Worthless Idols 1:12

2008-02-11T17:06:00.000-08:00

Jonah 1:12 And he said to them, "Pick me up and throw me into the sea; then the sea will become calm for you. For I know that this great tempest is because of me." 13 Nevertheless the men rowed hard to return to land, but they could not, for the sea continued to grow more tempestuous against them.

Have you ever been smack in the middle of a storm in your life and cried out to the Lord? And, if so, has He ever told you to do something you didn't want to do?

I mean, for me, it goes something like this.
"God I will do anything, just please fix this situation"
"O.k.....I want you to give away the t.v. and fast chocolate and coffee for two months"
"God, what is my next choice?"

You see? We want the Lord to help us, to still the storm but we do not want to do the things He tells us to do. We see this in the New Testament when Jesus talks about His sacrifice. Peter refuses to believe it, refuses to accept it, and the Lord rebukes him.
The ship was tossing on waves in the middle of a storm like the men of the ship had never experienced. They go to Jonah to ask what to do that they may be saved..and he tells them to sacrifice.
So they try to do it their way.
Nobody likes sacrifice. We don't like to sacrifice ourselves, adn we don't like to see other's sacrificed on our behalf, and yet it is sometimes necessary to accomplish what God it trying to do in our lives.
If you have an ongoing storm in your life I want to ask you, what sacrifice are you holding back from the Lord? What do you need ot throw into the sea today?
How long are you going ot try to do it yourself?

Lord, I ask Your favor on us today. I ask that You would show us what to do and give us the ability to do it. Allow the storms of our lives to dissipate as we follow You. Amen.

2/8/08

2008-02-08T22:21:00.000-08:00

Confusion reigns deep, dark, dank, and thick
deep in me.
I want so very badly to push through the slimy-ness, so cold, so sick:
slippery
I think I see a light there at the end but too soon it flickers and
is snuffed out
And a guttural cry from deep inside bursts through
"What's it all about"
Because I am your favorite one
and I am the one you love
and You haven't forgotten me
and I just want to see
Your face
Here in this place
I am so all alone
My heart? Is it of stone?
I am so very small
Not ready to attempt this wall
And You are nowhere I can see,
I know You have not forgotten me.
You whisper in my night
You know no delight
In my pain
My emotional strain
I look up at You
I almost think I have broken through
Then slump and fall
I am so small
Your tears, they fall like rain
You feel my deepest pain
No one knows, they can't see
They don't know me.
Raw, screaming, sliding through
I am still grasping at You
As I tumble by
And I hoarsely cry, Your Name.
You have not forgotten me
Someday soon I will see
Who I am
Know Your plan
My tears are not lost to You
My fears are not the least bit true
They are real to me
I can't see
You.
You hold me in arms I cannot touch
You scream Your love, I can't hear much
Over the beating of my heart
But it's a start.
I close my eyes and see Your Face
I am hurling through time and space
I want to stop, to get off the ride
You hold me tighter to Your side
Where Your love poured out
I despise my doubt
Because I am your favorite one
I have just begun,
You will see me through
What I need to do
In You I am complete
and I will walk on Your feet

Weeping remains for a night but joy comes in the morning. Amen.

By the way, if you are stopping by and reading this...While it is very true that I am the Lord's favorite, it is also true that you hold that place in His heart if you know Him, too. Whatever you are going through, if my words spoke to you, know that He knows, He sees, and in that one perfect moment your life will, like mine will, change miraculously and the battle will be won. You can stand until that happens and so can I.
When I was small I used to asked my dad if I could alk on his feet. He would hold my hands and take stiff legged steps and I would be magically taken where ever he was going.
Tonight I am going ot walk on the Lord's feet. I am ready to go where ever He takes me. You?
Blessings on you .....

Worthless Idols 1:11, Choosing A Sacrifice

2008-02-06T14:50:00.000-08:00

Jonah 1 :11 And since the storm was getting worse all the time, they asked him, "What should we do to you to stop this storm?"

There are some amazing things in these two verses. Jonah has come clean about his sin, although he has not actually repented, and the men recognize that he is the reason for the storm. They ask him, "What should we do to you to stop the storm?"

Listen, a believer that is rebelling against God can upset an applecart (or a ship) quicker than anything. You take a believer who has back-slidden, or is not walking in what he should be walking in, and add him to a group of unsaved people. Now stir the pot a little bit and you have a disaster in the making.

The word used for "ask" is interesting because there is a proud and haughty connotation to it. That interested me. I wondered why. Then I realized....these men were trying to shore up their wavering courage...Quaking on the inside they looked at Jonah, and with every bit of courage they could muster they sneer at him..."You did this, you are gonna pay. What shall we do to you to fix it? Hmmm?" "How shall we deal with you?"

Even not knowing God they recognized the need for a sacrifice. Not knowing God they recognized that something had to occur that would bring restitution for Jonah' s sin.

They make the statement again about the whirlwind, signifying God. The also make a statement about the sea that it was moving away from them as the whirlwind moved toward them.

The sea was a safe place. It was something they were used to. It was a comfort zone for them. These men were seasoned sailors. They had dealt with stormy seas before. This was different. They had the sense that the thing they thought they knew, the sea, was moving away from them.

When God deals with us, with our sin, it is often in a whirlwind. Often those areas that have worked for us in the past, our comfort zones, our crutches, those things are pulled away in the strength of the whirlwind and we are left looking for someone or something to sacrifice tp regain our equilibrium.

The answer is always, always that we must sacrifice our own flesh. ANything that is made uncomfortable in the whirlwind must be tossed into the sea without a second thought.
But, you know, I am getting ahead of myself...
I hope to be back tomorrow.

Lord, help us to see those things in ourselves that must go. Things that are not pleasing to You. Things that bring us comfort, that encourage rebellion. Open us up to You and show us the next step.
Amen.

Clinging to Worthless Idols 10

2008-01-12T09:21:00.000-08:00

Jonah 1:10

Then were the men exceedingly afraid, and said unto him, Why hast thou done this? For the men knew that he fled from the presence of the LORD, because he had told them

The sailors were astonished. His actions had put the entire ship at risk and they understood the magnitude of what Jonah had done by running away from God. I don't even really want to call it running away since he was completely haughty over it. He felt he was right, no matter what God thought. He was hanging on to his "righteousness" no matter what.
The men, terrified of what might happen, asked him, "Why have you created this problem for us? Why have you brought this upon us? Why must we be hurt because of what you have done?

Again, sin always affects everyone in the vicinity of it. It never touches just one person. I know many people that despise God because of the sin of Christians they know and how it has affected their own lives.
We are our brother's keeper. We have a responsibility to those around us for our words and our actions, lest we bring harm to them in the midst of our own storms of life. Honest faith can say, "This is hard, it hurts, I hate what I am walking through" while in the same breath saying" But I know and trust that God will bring me through it"

Jonah had the opportunity to be humble, he had the opportunity to allow the men to see him repent and he had the opportunity to allow them to see the grace and mercy of the Lord. The grace and mercy of God draws people, and when they see it manifest in our lives it touches them deeply. Jonah did not allow them this but maintained his hardness of heart so that they could only see the judgment of God.

If people only see the judgments of God in our lives and not the mercy what is there to draw them? Who wants to serve a harsh God? How will they see the God of mercy and grace if we don't allow Him to manifest those things in our lives?

What you do means so much more than what you say. The way you live your life is obvious to everyone, your inner life is obvious by what your outer life looks like. Hypocrisy is an ugly thing.
Jonah felt he was righteous. He was offended that God would ask him to go to Nineveh. Yet in his righteousness and his pride he brought near destruction to a group of men who needed to know God. What was his righteousness worth if it was not touching someone else in a positive way? Talk is cheap.

Lord, allow us to be everything you want us to be. Allow us to allow You to manifest mercy and grace in our lives and draw others through Your Spirit.
Amen.

Clinging to Worthless Idols 9

2008-01-10T09:12:00.000-08:00

Jonah 1:9

And he said unto them, I am an Hebrew; and I fear the LORD, the God of heaven, which hath made the sea and the dry land.

Does this statement seem a little odd to you, considering all that has gone on before? Yeah, me too. Let's look at it carefully and see if we can see what was really happening.

One of the translations for the word 'said" is to BOAST, or act proudly. Looking at the rest of the chapter I would have to say that in context boast would be the correct translation.
Read it again, Audet version:

And he boasted proudly, I am of the Hebrew people, and I reverence the Creator of all things, the Lord of angels and of all the earth who controls both the land and the sea.

Does it sound different? Did you ever find yourself in a situation where you were somewhere you weren't supposed to be, and maybe doing what you shouldn't be doing and you had a burst of spiritual prie because you knew the Lord and those around you didn't?
We can be walking in sin and still be so full of pride because we have known God at some point in the past.
What if Jonah had been humble, what if he had repented? Perhaps the Lord would have allowed the storm to disappate without his needing to be tossed over board.

But he didn't. Pride will keep us hanging on to something long after we should have given it up. Pride will keep us from admitting our mistakes and recieving forgiveness. Oh, it may not keep God from using us in the lives of those around us, but he used Balaam's donkey to prophecy to Balaam so there is no reasn for pride in what we do, is there?
Jonah, for some reason, thought he was pretty darn special. Often when we walk in pride the Lord has us do things that we would prefer not to to bring us down a notch. I suspect this was why Jonah was chosen to go to Ninevah..because it was the thing he would balk on. If there is something in your life you have determined you will not do you can rest assured you will find yourself doing that very thing.

Lord deal with the si of pride in our lives, and help us understand who we are in You. Amen.

Worthless Idols 8

2008-01-08T20:12:00.000-08:00

Clinging to Worthless Idols Part 8

Then said they unto him, Tell us, we pray thee, for whose cause this evil is upon us; What is thine occupation? and whence comest thou? what is thy country? and of what people art thou?

After the lot fell to Jonah the sailors were angry. Here they were, just doing their job, living to the best of their ability and Jonah brings in the wrath of God in one fell swoop. I will say it again...sin never just hurts the sinner but every person who comes in contact with the sinner.
The sailors didn't just ask him..they demanded that he tell them everything. They wanted to know exactly who this man was that had unleashed the power of God on their heads. The wanted to know, not only what his occupation was but WHOSE workmanship he was.
Whose workmanship are you? Can others see the stamp of the artist that created you when they look at you? Anyone that has studied any art at all can usually pick out a Da Vinci or a Rembrandt, or even a Dali. Their workmanship is obvious, the very touch of their hand has signed their work more so than even their signature.
So when others look at your life (and mine) what do they see? Can they tell the workmanship?
The men wanted to know everything when they asked that. Whose workmanship, whose property, what religious sect do you belong to? What politics do you subscribe to? They were asking Jonah to prove his existence. Then they asked even more questions:
Where have you come from? Who counts you among their friends?
When they asked what country he came from they used a word that translates about 20 ways, including what world do you come from? In other words, I think they suspected he was a demon come to cause trouble for them. Their last question was " Who are your kinsmen, your people, your country-men?"
Ever meet anyone who was acting out of this world? I have. I have met Christians and had to look twice, thinking, what planet did you fly your broom in from?
When we are in rebellion we do not reflect Christ. To say that we do is deception.You can not be running from the Lord and serve Him at the same time, and while He may still be able to use you in the lives of others there will be a price that all have to pay.
You have, I have, two choices. His way or our way...The way of the flesh ends in death. Sometimes physical, always the death of something important to us. A hardening in our spirit. A callousness, coldness.
Who are you, today? Who claims you as their own? Where are your roots? What do you believe? Noone asked Moses that, noone asked David that, noone asked Jesus that.
I pray noone will ask you that.
Lord help it to be obvious Who we belong to, what we believe and from whence we came. Help us follow you in all things.
Amen

Word For 2008

2008-01-05T10:45:00.000-08:00

The Lord gives me words every year for the upcoming year. I don't know whether I was so preoccupied with all of the chaos this year or He just wanted me to wonder until the last minute..but He did not give me a clear word until last Sunday...and it took me a week to get it written.
As always, check this in your spirit. A prophetic word should always confirm something...it will never go against the Word of God.
Take a deep breath.

The Word for 2008 is Advance. In 2007 we were positioned, cleansed, made ready. Sin, hidden sin, all in our lives was brought out into the open. The areas of our weaknesses were exposed so they could be healed, corrected... we were, in a word, recalibrated.
For the past several years we have been in battle, we have been fighting hard and well but in the heat of it all our sights had become a little off. Now we have been brought back to center.

The word is advance. Move out. Move in. Move ahead with clarity and assurance. You are in position, you are calibrated, you have been given everything you need for this year. In formation, look ahead and not back...Looking back will only make you stumble and fall and in doing so you will trip up everyone behind you..look ahead and move forward.

The question hanging in the air is " Are You ready for the Next Part?" and you must answer "yes" or be left behind.

Now is the time to look at the promises of God that have been given to you for the last few years and demand them. The first half of the year will be the crossing. The battles will not be with the enemy so much as within yourself. You will be clearing a path, whether by going through the Jordan or by using a machete in the tangled undergrowth...the path must be cleared nothing must get in the way. Lack of faith will twine around your spirit and keep you back if you allow it. Sin will try to pull you aside from your goal, and complacency will cause you to give up the vision of where you are going in the comfort of where you are, like the Lotus Eaters of Tennyson's poem.
Advance. God is stirring up spirits, stirring up giftings, stirring up desires and long held dreams. It is a season to believe that anything can happen.

Begin to walk, like the blind man healed by Jesus who at first saw blurry things and then his vision cleared. As you move ahead with the little you have the increase will come. Now is the time to see with the eyes of your understanding and the insight and discernment that God continues to pour forth.

Advance. The second half of the year will be warfare, taking the land fighting the enemy. Go after the enemy as Abraham did and take back all that has been stolen. Require of him 7x over. It is yours. The enemy will try to hold back a little, the temptation to accept less than what you are entitled to will be great but it is imperative that you take all back from the enemy that you leave nothing in his possession. Not a child, not a coin, not an inch of anything. The enemy will run but try to grab what he can on the way out. Pursue and destroy.

Advance. Do not allow anything of the enemy to live and thrive. Destroy all that he has planted.
Some will find that they are, like the Israelites, moving into homes they did not build and eating grapes they did not plant. This year what gets left behind must be left behind for good. There will be those that choose to stay on the other side of the Jordan and there must be no going back to that way of living.

Life Free or Die. Do not again become a slave to the things the enemy has enslaved you with in the past.

When the enemy cannot win he will deceive. The most common lies this year will be
"it's good enough"
"I have gone far enough"
"I can't believe for that/it's not for me"
"God probably doesn't want me to have that"

Prophets and prophecy will continue to be under attack this year as the enemy, knowing he cannot prevail against them and quiet them, seeks to stop the ears of those who would hear and receive instruction for them. More churches and denominations are going to limit the power of God by limiting the spirit of prophecy in their midst, by disregarding their prophets, by putting flesh limits on a spiritual truth. These churches will wither, these will stay on the other side of the Jordan, having a type of faith but denying it's power. Salvation will be theirs but it will be dry and undecorated, a soldier coming home from war with his life but nothing on his uniform to brag about.
Yet prophets themselves will find a new level of companionship and communion with the Lord. Jonah will be transformed into Elijah as prophets are healed of the wounds that the church has inflicted for the past several years.

The fiber of the church will change as God brings it closer to what He wants it to be. There will be those who wish to hold on to control and manipulation and those must be relieved of ANY position that will hold the church back.
Advance. Let go. Move on. Look ahead.
Of all the words that I have gotten over the years this one gives me glorious "God-bumps".

Sorry for my absence and a interim thought.

2007-12-18T12:34:00.000-08:00

I am sorry I haev been out of commission..my computer went down and Erin and Jon (daughter and son in law) and the grandkids moved in. I hope to be back to normal posting soon...In the meantime..here is a study I did several years ago...Sept, 2003.

Tracey should probably be the one writing this ..We will entitle it All About Sheep and Wool.
When Tracey was here I became interested in learning to spin with a hand spindle. I am not very good at it, in fact I am pretty bad but it is relaxing and so we 've bought six sheep. Picture sheep in your mind as we go on.
God uses sheep quite a bit in the Bible as examples and symbols and I always thought I had an understanding of what He was trying to convey. You see those lovely, gentle, pastoral paintings of Jesus cuddling the little lamb to Himself. The cute, little lamb is nestled in the crook of His arm looking happy and safe....
The sheep we are getting are called Jacob sheep. They are supposedly the sheep of the Bible, called Jacob sheep because they are an ancient breed, spotted and basically unchanged for thousands of years. If you are picturing white and cute you are wrong.
These sheep have between 2 and 6 horns. Yes, six. And they are quite energetic. If they wanted to they could really hurt you. In fact, make the wrong move and they could hurt you if they weren't trying.
Anyway...There is a process for getting the fleece and making it useable. The very first thing is shearing. The shepherd grabs the sheep, plops it on it's hindquarters and trims the wool off of it. The animal has to be controlled to do this effectively.
In order for us to bear fruit God takes us through a process. He grabs us and plops us on our hindquarters, holds us down and proceeds to remove whatever we 're covered in. We feel restrained, controlled, frustrated, naked. Just like the shepherd knows that removal of the fleece is important for the health of the sheep, our Shepherd knows that this step is imperative for our spiritual health. Just like the sheep hasn't a clue about what the shepherd is doing and just knows he doesn't like it-we are clueless and don't like our shearing.
The ram that was part of the flock we are getting was burned during the shearing. He was struggling so hard and it was taking so long that the electric clippers got hot and touched him. You know what I am going to say next, don't you? Alot of our hurts and scars are caused by our own struggling with God when He is trying to take us through the process. He knows what we need but often we have our own opinions..we want it our way, we want to stay just like we are because it is familiar..When we trust God with our lives, when we trust Him during the process then there will be minimal scarring, minimal wounding. No matter how able the Shepherd is, if a sheep is unruly it will get hurt during the process.
The other way sheep get hurt is when a shepherd is irresponsible or inexperienced. The Lord is the Shepherd and has placed undershepherds over His flock. Those in leadership must stay accountable to the Lord, they must follow His directions and His timing perfectly. A sheep that gets sheared at the wrong time of year can die in certain climates...Timing is everything. An irresponsible shepherd can forget to feed the sheep, feed them too little, or miss a wound. If he forgoes the shearing entirely the sheep's health can deteriorate.
The church is in a time of process, we see it everywhere. God is readying us for the next step. Once the shearing is done the wool must be processed more before it become useable. More about that next week.
Are you being sheared? "Be still and know that I AM God."
Stop fighting the process. Trust Him through it all.

Clinging To Worthless Idols 7

2007-12-11T10:26:00.000-08:00

First of all, I cannot believe it has been a week. I am so far behind on my Bible study it isn't funny. I would like to be able to blame all of the chaos of the holiday but I can't...it is disorganization, pure and simple.

7 And they said every one to his fellow, Come, and let us cast lots, that we may know for whose cause this evil is upon us. So they cast lots, and the lot fell upon Jonah.

The concordance and word study really doesn't add any meaning to this verse. This storm had come up suddenly and the men knew that it was not a natural occurrence, the knew that it was a storm that had been divinely sent. They had prayed and received no respite and so they were fairly sure that someone was the cause of it...but who?
Who indeed. Why is it, that Jonah, who surely knew that the storm was his fault, did not admit to it immediately? Why did he wait for his sin to be revealed to all?

As Christians we are called to a higher walk than unbelievers. Not that we don;t fall, stumble, or outright jump once in awhile but that when we do we are quick to admit our sin and get back into right relationship with God. For Jonah to have been willing to allow the whole ship to drown for his actions was incredibly selfish. He was showing not only no regard for the peopel in Ninevah that he had not seen, but even to those people in his immediate vicinity that he had seen and spoke with.
When we, as Christians, fall into sin we ultimately affect everyone around us. Everyone is touched by sin, everyone experiences the consequences of our actions. Whatever you are doing right now that you know is not right is affecting not only you but your children and your husband and your wife and your friends...and the unbelievers around you who are watching intently to see if your faith, your God, is real.
What will you show them? Will you be like Jonah and seek to save the shreds of your own will? Will you continue to hide in your sin and pretend you are unaware of the reason for the storm that swirls around you? Or, will you admit, confess, repent and walk away?
It really is your choice. God will bring you into right relationship with Him eventually. The real question is "How bad does it have to get?" "Who is going to have to be hurt?" "What is it going to take?"
Are you, like Jonah, so selfish that you are willing for all to perish rather than admitting your wrong?
Or, like Christ, are you willing to lay down your life for those around you?
Two "men" of God.
One was called, refused, and forced to become a sacrifice because of his own sin.
One was called, accepted, and sacrificed Himself willingly because of your sin and my sin.
And you? Which will you choose?

Lord allow us to be real. To be honest. To follow You in whatever You ask of us. ALlow us to have good attitudes, to be cheerful, and to bear our frustrations and sorrows with grace. Give us compassion for those around us, and lead us in the direction we should go. Amen.

Clinging to Worthless Idols 6

2007-12-03T18:05:00.000-08:00

6 So the shipmaster came to him, and said unto him, What meanest thou, O sleeper? arise, call upon thy God, if so be that God will think upon us, that we perish not.

This is a short verse, but this study has been so meaty for me personally that I am loathe to go faster for fear of missing something!

The shipmaster, the man in authority realizes that not everyone is crying out to their god. This would, I think, put him in a panic, because remember, these popel believed in many gods and the idea of offending one...especially the one that had brought the storm must have been horrifying! SO the ship's master seeks out Jonah and finds him unconcious in the deepest parts of the ship. I don;t really know what the deepest part of the ship would have been but I assume it would have been in the hold, somewhere where Jonah, a paid passenger, really had no reason to be.
When we are in rebellion we find ourselves unconcious (at least in the spirit) in places where we shouldn't be. Did you ever realize, all of a sudden, that sin had taken you somewhere you never thought you would go, and you weren't even sure how you got there? Rebellion is the key. Running from God on any level brings deception as surely as running to Him brings redemption.
So the captain grabs Jonah (dramatic interpretation here) and shakes him awake..I think he knew who Jonah was, I think he knew OF him. Prophets were a pretty well known bunch back then..some of them had good reputations and some didn't but all were held in sort of an awe. I can't believe that Jonah, as a prophet of God, was not known to the men on the ship as a prophet.
ANyway...The captain says, "What are you doing? Establish yourself, take a stand, confirm, validate and fulfill your calling by proclaiming the name of the Lord, your God and summoning Him! That way God will ...
O.k.I have to admit that I had trouble with the exact translation for think in that verse. It means two things..literally to think, and then to be smooth shiny or gleaming. The only other scripture in the entire Bible that uses that exact work is in Jeremiah 5:28 and it is used in reference to the wicked being sleek, fat and self centered.
And there I had it.
The ship's men did not know God. They knew of Him, the knew other gods...and to them, He was like any other god..
The gods of that time were self indulgent, partying, cavorting, and often too busy to meddle in the affairs of man without being forced to....
This man thought that if Jonah would just say the right thing, call loud enough, God would hear and maybe..MAYBE help them.
How many people do you know that try to work for God;s attention? How often do YOU work for God's attention?
Do any of these sound familiar?
* If I had prayed enough this would not have happened
* If I had only given more money...more time....more _________ then God wouldn't have let this happen
* I haven't prayed today! Uh oh!

Are you dancing for God's attention? Because you don't need to. You have it. Right now, right where you are, right as you are. He knows what is going on...and there is nothing you can do to make Him love you more, or make Him answer a prayer quicker or make Him answer a prayer in a way you want. He is God. Manipulating Him, or trying to is nothing short of witchcraft.

Pray. Read the Word because you want to communicate with Him, listen to Him, spend time with Him..but not because you have made a goal to read your Bible 20 minutes a day and pray 10 minutes a day. You have His attention. You are His Beloved.
Think on that.
Amen.

Clinging to Worthless Idols 5

2007-12-01T21:22:00.000-08:00

5 Then the mariners were afraid, and cried every man unto his god, and cast forth the wares that were in the ship into the sea, to lighten it of them.

We have examined what God was doing with Jonah to a certain extent. We have established that God and the Holy Spirit were at the scene, so to speak. Now we jump for a moment to the by-standers. Innocent by-standers who were caught up in this drama completely without trying. They were just at the wrong place at the wrong time! But when God is involved can ANY place be wrong? Was it coincidence or did God have something for them too?

Looking at the word for afraid. Yare' . Not only does it mean frightened, but it also means to inspire godly fear and awe in someone, to cause reverence, and to astonish, fear, and respect. These men had seen the sea in many moods, they were experienced sailors! Yet what was happening was so amazing ot them that the immediately knew that it was an act of the supernatural. I have seen some awe-inspiring weather here in Texas. We had a flood a couple of years ago that necessitated me wading through chest deep water at 2 in the morning to lead livestock to safety. It was frightening..and yet, I was awed by the power of the water, and the lack of control I had over the environment. These guys were awed and ready to kneel to who ever had control of that storm!

They began to cry out. But the inference is also that they assembled together and began proclaiming something. That they were joined together and calling something to come to their aid. Our storms are not just for us. They inspire those around us to a deeper walk with the Lord, a deeper understanding of who He is...These men didn't know who could help them, they just knew someone had to. They were completely out of control.

Each man cried to his gods. The word used for gods is 'elohiym. It can mean so many things I am copying the list here...read through it:

(plural)

rulers, judges
divine ones
angels
gods

(plural intensive - singular meaning)

god, goddess
godlike one
works or special possessions of God
the (true) God
God

They were crying out to whoever, it's true but God heard their cries! He heard their hearts more than their words, more than the names they used. Many cried out, but at least a few cried out to the true God and touched His heart whether they meant to or not.

So they starting throwing their stuff into the sea. You see when you are faced to face with a God-storm possessions don;t mean very much. Things cease to have meaning. All of a sudeen things fall into perspective and you know what is important and what is not. The word used means the following things:
article, vessel, implement, utensil

article, object (general)
utensil, implement, apparatus, vessel
1. implement (of hunting or war)
2. implement (of music)
3. implement, tool (of labour)
4. equipment, yoke (of oxen)
5. utensils, furniture
vessel, receptacle (general)
vessels (boats) of paper-reed

Now, that list contains things that are representative of every aspect of our lives from leisure, to work, form war to living. They were willing to give everything up to have life. The were lightening the ship, and that word has many meanings too! It does mean to lighten but it means to make of no account, to make trifling, to treat with contempt, to curse.
Have you ever come to a place where you were so disgusted with all the "stuff" you were carrying around that you just started dropping it because it became worthless to you? Have you ever gotten so sick of the way your life was going that you just were ready to drop it all and either die or start fresh? Has stuff ever been that out of control for you? These men were cursing their possessions as they threw them off the boat, giving them no value at all.

But during all of this activity Jonah was deep in the recesses of the ship, sleeping heavily and unaware that those around him needed his spiritual guidance and help.

When God moves in our lives others are affected. Others are watching, and others are made fearful because of our storms. This can open up a door for their salvation if we are alert and do not fall into a deep sleep, hiding in the vehicle of our rebellion. Sometimes it is during OUR storms that others are the most softened by what they see.
Rebellion against God will cause deep sleep, unconciousness in your spirit. Praise God He knows how to wake us up!
It is late saturday night. I will not be writing here on SUnday. I do want to ask you to spend time in quiet with the Lord asking Him where the rebellion in your heart is...Ask Him if there is any sleeping going on in your spirit. Let's start next week wide awake and ready to hear from Him!

Sometimes

2007-11-30T17:36:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it really stinks being a prophet. I know that prophets are out of fashion with the "religionistas" but I have never followed fashiopn before...

I mentioned to Marc this morning that I had a strong feeling our finances were about to change dramatically.

Today...his boss......cut his salary by 1/3.

Stay tuned to see what cool thing God does next.

Oh, and the Bible study will resume tomorrow. I had to get my emotions beaten into submission to He Who is Truth. :)

Clinging To Idols 4

2007-11-28T18:13:00.000-08:00

Jonah 1:4 But the Lord sent out a great wind on the sea, and there was a mighty tempest on the sea, so that the ship was about to be broken up.

Again, I am sorry for my absence. Things are a little weird here right now and I haven't even started putting the holiday stuff up. Ready to see what happens next? I am!

The Lord did not just send out a great wind. According to the original meaning of the word He hurled it down. There is a violence in what the word means, as if God was taking out some frustration at the same time! I wondered about that and then I realized that even though God could have accomplished the same thing with out the drama some of us need the intensity and drama to be willing to do what He says. Not only did the intensity of that storm serve to get Jonah IN the whale it also was a statement to the men on the boat. I know that scripture doesn't say this but don't you think at least one of them was frightened enough to seek the salvation of the Lord later on? When we are being disciplined by God others around us see it. When Marc and I lost our house in 1994,a s well as nearly everythign else, others watched in horror as we were stripped of one thing after another...But God! We had the grace and the peace to walk through it and as we did people around us were touched and changed.

The word great in Great Wind means intense and loud..but interestingly enough it is also a word that means...God Himself. God did not just send the storm, God Himself WAS the storm! And I got goosebumps when I read this but...the word for wind? It means the Holy Spirit!

In the midst of the storm, God WAS the storm and even then He sent the Comforter to ease the way. That same word for wind is identified with the prophetic word and an endowing a man with a gift. Are you getting this? Yes! Jonah was running away but even in the running God was pouring out gifts on him to make him more of a prophet than he all ready was!

Your storm may have begun for many reasons. Maybe some of them are your doing and maybe not. But the fact remains that God is that storm, the Holy Spirit is in that storm and even whole the wind is rushing around loud and intense you are being protected, comforted, and infused with more gifts than you all ready had! You may have started out a prophet but now you are being transformed into a PROPHET. You may have started out as a teacher but now you are being transformed into a TEACHER. Your music, your art, your giftings are being intensified, honed, and detailed with precision in this storm!

The word mighty is used in regards to the tempest but it is the same word as great. it speaks of God Himself being the whirlwind in the sea. No wonder the sailors were frightened!
The word for ship can be used for the actual ship or to describe the sailors and looking at the rest of the verse I will say it is the men we are talking about. You see translated it looks like:
..the men considered themselves to be crushed.

But wait! There's more!
The word also means ...oh my gosh..are you ready?
The word also means to break out, to be brought to birth.
Did you get that? To be brought to birth. Now, back to my original thought..Those men on the ship were forever changed AND Jonah was about to be ....Born-Again!

Let's stop here, shall we? That is almost too much to take in. At least for me.

Lord,
Thank you for being our storm, for being in our storm and for sending the Comforter to minister to us during it. We choose to trust You in this. Amen.

checking in

2007-11-27T08:46:00.000-08:00

I know it has eben nearly a week..but I plan to begin the study up again today or tomorrow at the latest..some off the wall thngs came up this weekend and put me in a state of being overwhelmed.
I am on a strict fast from now until December 23 over some spiritual battles in my life, my church,and the lives of my children.
Saying that, I believe that it is a time for warfare. It is a time to be proactive, to attack and not to defend.
I have, for a long time now, been in a state of almost ennui brought on by overwhelming circumstances and emotions. I have left things to themselves to an extent and my life is very cluttered. I am feeling God shaking me awake, whispering,"Hurry! You have overslept!"
As the Lord told Joshua, "Be strong and very courageous!" God is in control of each circumstance, each moment, each seed of a situation. Be strong and courageous, for we know that ALL things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purposes. All things.
Wake up! The time is short. Now is the time to take bakc what the enemy has stolen for years, now is the time to stand up and say "enough!". We are not victims tossed by chance and karma but we are more than conquerors through Christ!
Stop whining and get out there.

Psalm 144
Praise be to the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle.
He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me.
O Lord, what is man that you care for him, the son of man that you think of him?
Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow.
Part your heavens, O Lord, and come down; touch the mountains, so that they smoke.
Send forth lightning and scatter the enemies; shoot your arrows and rout them.
Reach down your hand from on high; deliver me and rescue me from the mighty waters, from the hands of foreigners whose mouths are full of lies, whose right hands are deceitful.
I will sing a new song to you, O God; on the ten-stringed lyre I will make music to you,
to the One who gives victory to kings, who delivers his servant David from the deadly sword. Deliver me and rescue me from the hands of foreigners whose mouths are full of lies, whose right hands are deceitful.
Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace.
Our barns will be filled with every kind of provision. Our sheep will increase by thousands, by tens of thousands in our fields
our oxen will draw heavy loads. There will be no breaching of walls, no going into captivity, no cry of distress in our streets.
Blessed are the people of whom this is true; blessed are the people whose God is the Lord.

This is true of you and of me today. We are blessed. Amen.

Clinging to Idols 3

2007-11-20T06:51:00.000-08:00

But Jonah rose up to flee to Tarshish from the Presence of the Lord and went down to Joppa.

You have to love word studies..or I do anyway... to me, God packed so much information in the Word that we can read hte same scripture daily our whole lives and get something new each time.

Jonah means: Dove. Just like the dove that Noah sent out to check to see if the waters of the flood had receded. God was sending Jonah out of a protected place to bring the Ninevites to a place of freedom.
Scripture says he rose up to flee. The word for rose up means to be hostile or rebel. Have you ever been told to do something and felt that rebellious thing "rise up" in you and just throw up a wall? Jonah found a place of rebellion in his heart that day. He found something that he hadn't known was there. Sometimes God asks us to do something just to show us exactly where out hearts are at.. the term rose up also means to persist. It wasn't just that he had an initial negative reaction..he fed it. He continued to dwell on the reaction and chose to cling to his rights, his desires, and his response rather than assuming God knew what He was doing.
Where did he go? He wanted to go to Tarshish. Now, there is alot I know about Tarshish but one thing I did not. The name Tarshish means yellow Jasper, a type of stone. I have not finished the word study on it but Yellow Jasper is used by those who do crystals and such as a stone of protection. It is a stone that is said to protect someone form things that are bad for them. It seems Jonah was not just running away from God, he actually was heading for something he thought could protect him from what God was asking him to do.
Now, we may laugh at that but we do it to. I have watched altar calls where I could see people being poked by the Holy Spirit to go up front only to see them head for the bathroom instead. We think that God can't find us if we hide.
I want to stop here, yeah halfway in the verse, because I want you to list the things you do when you want to hide from God. Ask Him to show you, those things need to go. It is time to shoulder our responsibilities and take on those things God has asked us to do. No more hiding.
Lord, show us. Help us go where You ask, do what You ask us to do. Speak to our hearts and minds today. Amen.

out of pocket

2007-11-19T05:27:00.001-08:00

I have to take marc to the va so it will probably be tomorrow before i get the next part of the study up...

Clinging to Idols 2

2007-11-16T09:11:00.000-08:00

So, is that picture still with you? Have you meditated on it a bit and let the reality and depth of it soak in?
Awesome! Let's go on.

We all know the story of Jonah. How God told him to go to Ninevah and tell them to repent but he did not want to...how he ended up in a whale tummy for 3 days. Ewww. I don't even like fish, I can't imagine how that smelled..I practically repent when I walk through the fish area of the grocery store.
Anyway, then he repented, right? And God had the whale burp him up and spit him out so he was able to go and do what God had told him to do in the first place.
But was there a cost? The scripture we are looking at says that those who walk away from what God has called them to do forfeit the good stuff, the rewards the could have had. Do those things get returned to us if we suddenly change our minds?
Let's look closely at what God was asking Jonah to do. You can check this in Strongs by going to crosswalk and using the KJV option with the Strongs concordance.

Now the word of the LORD came unto Jonah the son of Amittai, saying, 2 Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and cry against it; for their wickedness is come up before me.

I finally understood why Jonah was peeved when I checked this carefully. The word for arise means to get up, go, come on the scene, station one's self, and establish one's self as a presence. God wasn't just asking him to GO to Ninevah, He wanted him to live there. Here, move yourself to the most God forsaken place you can think of and establish a presence there.
Jonah was being asked to not only live there but to raise a "cry against it". To consistently call out, and give name to the sin that was rampant. He was to live there, and walk around telling people that they were full of sin and wickedness, and if they didn't repent the city would be destroyed. Well, Guess what? Jonah was supposed to be living there! Are you starting to see that he might have had a reason for not wanting to go?
If you knew that a city was about to be destroyed, would you WANT to go and move there? Would you want to place your future in the hands of sinners that maybe would listen and repent and maybe not? I wouldn't. We have to assume since Jonah is hearing from God as a prophet that prior to this he has been used as a prophet. We have to believe that he is used to hearing from God.
All of a sudden God comes to him and says, "Hey, Jonesie, You know Ninevah? Well I am about to nuke it. All of the junk going on there is really in my face. Here is the deal, buddy, I want you to go there before I DO nuke it. Just move your stuff there and hang out. And I want you to tell them that they are all gonna die if they don't repent."
Notice he did not say He would pull Jonah out of there if they didn't listen? He only told Jonah to go.
If you knew that the Twin Towers were going to come down on Sept. 11, would you purposely go there and set up shop?

Jonah wasn't just being cranky that day. He had a lot to lose from his point of view. Here he had been a godly man, a prophet and now he was asked to give up all respectability and go live among wickedness and sin. Not only his possessions, but his honor, personal ethics, and his very life were at stake.
Has God ever asked you to trust Him with everything you have? To totally change your life style? ( Christine I know this has to be speaking to you!) Has He asked for every part of you all at once?
If he has, how easy was it to totally obey?
If He hasn't how do you think you would respond?
More tomorrow...

Lord open our hearts to truly trust You with every part of us. To believe that going on a hopeless mission under Your direction is far better than keeping ourselves safe, and holding on to what we think we have. Give us tender hearts toward You, Lord. Allow us to say Yes to You easily and quickly. Teach us what we need to know, and lead us where we need to go!
Amen.

Clinging to Idols: Part 1

2007-11-15T07:33:00.000-08:00

I had to look at several translations of this because, while I have taught on this before, and studied it before, I never saw it in this way before.

Jonah 2:8

New International Version
Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that would be theirs

The New Living Translation:
Those who worship false gods turn their backs on all God's mercies.

The Message:
Those who worship hollow gods, god-frauds, walk away from their only true love.

King James:
They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy.

I started thinking about Jonah. He walked away from what God had told him to do. Could he have had an idol? I wondered. Did he forfeit anything?
I read the story again and again. And God started to tear through my preconcieved notions and show me something more. This will be long..I will wait while you get more coffee, if you want. :)
Let's break it down in Strongs, using the King James.
They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy

OBSERVE: SHAMAR The definition of this word was amazingly pictoral to me. To cling, to grasp, to protect, to hold to, to desire.
As I read it I had a mental image of Gollum in Lord of the Rings, and the way he held to the ring, no matter what the cost. The ring was killing him, changing him, eroding his very humanity and yet he would not and could not put it away from him.
LYING: SHAV Emptiness of speech, worthlessness of conduct ..
VANITIES: Heh-'bel a vapor, a breath, something without substance.. here God showed me cotton candy. Just a picture of cotton candy. It promises to be something but it isn't. It seems to have substance but doesn't. I think the picture had to do with both of the last two definitions.
FORSAKE: AWZAB to depart from, leave behind, forsake, abandon, set free, neglect, be negligent of.... Can you imagine setting down a bag of organic fruit and chasing after a handful of cotton candy?
MERCY: KHEH-SED Goodness, faithfulness, kindness.

I want this to sink in, to me and to you. I am going to leave you for today with the illustration of Gollum clutching a cone of cotton candy as he, starving, walks away from a bag of organic apples.
Check back tomorrow for more of this..It is meaty, for sure.

Out of the Frying Pan

2007-11-13T05:42:00.002-08:00

James 1:2-4Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
Walking through trials is one of the hardest things to do. You would think that I would be awesome at it because I have done it so much but, no. There is always that inner struggle to move away from the pain of what you are walking through rather than embracing it, dealing with it, allowing God to heal it, allowing yourself to be changed and moving on. Pain hurts and I don;t like it.
However, we read Corrie Ten Boom, Mother Theresa, George Mueller and others who seem to be giants in the faith and we admire their strength. We desire the spiritual walks they had, the relationship with the Lord that was so apparent in their lives. Guess what? They walked through the pain.
Stopping halfway is deadly because most often you are still dealing with the pain of your situation only now you don't have the grace to go with it.
Right now I am experiencing situations, a multitude of them, that are painful and confusing. My first htought is to fix them, stop the pain any way I can. Yet I know that if I let God have His way the pain might last longer but the fix will be real.
Sometimes I try to convince myself that moving out from it is what God wants me to do.
Confusion steps in when pain becomes overwhelming, doesn't it? And so many times we stop just short of the finish because we see a way out. It is satan offering bread to the Lord during His fast. It is a false solution. Don't take it. Wait for the Lord. Let Him have His way. Let Him finish the work He started. He is capable of resolving things if you let Him.
Maybe I am the only one that needs to read this today but I so need this today. I feel like I am clinging to God with a thread and so ready to hand someone my birthright for a bowl of stew, so to speak.
Let me ask you, let me ask me...at what point in your life did jumping ahead of God ever get the results you hoped for? Yeah...me too. Never.
Lord, You said we could ask for help if we needed it. I need it. Others here need it. Lord help us. DIrect our steps, bring us through, help us see the next thing to do, the next move to make, the next step to take. Lord, don't leave us in confusion, we dont want ot be counted amoung those that fall away. Be with us Lod, in all we do and guide each moment today, we lay it before You Lord.Amen.

Prayer please.

2007-11-11T09:15:00.001-08:00

This is my oldest daughter. She is an amazing woman. She has the most beautiful voice you have ever heard, bar none, and she is concerned for everyone. She has always been ready to help anyone her whole life.
RIght this minute she is struggling. I am not sure what all she is struggling with but she is being beat up by the enemy, of that I am sure.
Please pray for her. I know that God will bring her through this victoriously but as her mom I am agonized by her pain right now.
Thanks.

Desert Places

2007-11-08T15:40:00.000-08:00

The terrain is harsh, bereft of plant, water or soul
The sandy tones engulf me
And hills and valleys in each direction roll
endlessly
I am trapped here unable to imagine or see
very far beyond what I can touch
And I am trapped within my own reality
Yet
You, somehow, by some miracle pull me up high
where I am both in my desert
and yet, I see from Your perspective, or try
Amazing
The rolling expanse gives way as somehow I rise where you are
My form still small in the hills of the lines in the center of Your palm
Your touch was not, as I had often thought, cold and far
No
The desert I feel trapped in -that place of dry, dusty heat
Not a desert at all but a refuge
As You seek to make me complete
And
The shaking I feel so often is not my world falling apart
Nor any breaking thing
But always, always the consistant beat of Your heart.
Surrounding me.
(c)marye audet 2006

Secure Enough to be Gentle

2007-11-08T11:29:00.000-08:00

24 God's servant must not be argumentative, but a gentle listener and a teacher who keeps cool,
Here is the part I probably stumble on the most.
We had friends over last night after church and were discussing some issues. I mentioned that I have a need for people to do the right thing. If they don't I have a need to let them know. If they still don;t I tend to have a need to get louder, because maybe they have hearing issues.
That's not good.
people who have assumed that I am quiet and gentle usually are disappointed in me. I am not. To me things are exactly black and white. Either walk it out with ethics and following the Lord the best you can or don't call yourself a believer and say you are trying to follow God... Do or Do not there is no try.
Anyway... being argumentative is comparative. What is argumentative? I have had people say I am critical and argumentative when I pointed out that Christians have no business being unethical in their dealings with others. I have been called that when I have held someone accountable for actions that had a negative effect on my children.
Argumentative is not about correction, or even telling a teacher that their teaching is unscriptural if it is. Being argumentative is forcing your belief on another at all costs. It is wanting to be right above wanting the truth and it is trying to change someone's mind when it will not be changed.
SO...what does that look like?
Lets say you are in a teaching situation where you are listening to someone else. They go off on something you feel is not scriptural but you can't prove it. Do you call them on it or not?
Nope. Because you can't back it up..
Same scenario but you have your Bible study notes to back it up.
Go for it. State your case and then let it go. Because you are either going ot change their minds or not.
There comes a point, even with the Lord, that it is time to back off and gie people over to the beliefs that they want to believe. If they are emmeshed in deception and will not look at the truth your responsibility is not to make them see it. Rather, to gently point out the errors, and then to allow the consequences of their actions to be their guide. Sad but true.
Some people believe that prophets are still for today and some don't. Some like for their prophets to be BIG, Nationally acclaimed people, and some don't. I wish I had a big blue {P} tattooed to my chest but I don't. I think one of the tests of a prophet is if there are people that call him arrogant for admitting to being a prophet. I am, as I get older, more inclined to let people believe what they want.I do not need honor from man, but only from the Lord.
So, rambling though I am, do you see where i am going with this? If we are confident in who we are in Christ, if we are confident that we hear from Him, that we are obeying Him, that we are ministering in our giftings to the best of our ability at that moment...then truly we have no reason to feel threatened when someone has a different opinion. We have no reason to force our *righteousness* on them, or get frustrated because they refuse to change.
Sunday, I was so grieved in my spirit because of some things that God is doing around me that I could not stand up wihtout support, I could not stop crying, I could not function as I normally do. But the choices to be made are not my choices. I have decided to Live for Jesus, no turning back. If others choose to walk another way that is between them and the Lord...If I correct and the correction is not recieved, like the Apostles, I am to move on, unless God tells me differently.
Key is to be so aligned to the Lord that peer pressure and the desire to be a *part* cease to exist in the uber-reality of Him.
Lord, let us each bask in Your presence today, acknowledge that You and only You are our reality and help us to be secure in who we are in You enough that we don;t need to prove that we are right, or important, or valuable. We are all those things and more in You. Amen.

Running After Mature RIghteousness

2007-11-07T22:59:00.000-08:00

Run after mature righteousness - faith, love, peace
o.k..continuing....
Run after mature righteousness. Don't just reach over and scoop it up, actively pursue it.
It is really so easy for me to get caught up in people's lack of righteousness. I am nto sure what it is but lack of ethics in leadership will put me over the edge really fast. Mature righteousness looks at that and realizes that God is in control and God can deal with it. Mature righteousness looks at it and continues to pray and seek the Lord. Mature righteousness seeks to encourage..
Man, I am so not mature. I want to point out to people when they are acting in ways that are in direct opposition to God's ways. I really think, somewhere deep inside, that if I just show them in a way they can understand they will change, and be grateful. But sometimes people don't want to know. They want to keep waling in the flesh, by the flesh, and trying to look spiritual, and that is when spiritual maturity steps in and praises God that He is the Author and FInisher of our faith..that He changes hearts, and that i am not responsible to fix someone else. That is faith. Love keeps you there until God releases you because you are not loyal to the man, only to the Lord. When this is working properly what others do won't matter because it does not change your responsibility. ANd peace is not becoming stressed because you know God sees and has perfect timing.
Take trust to a deeper level today, with me. Lay it down, whatever it is and ask God to lead, rather than leading yourself. Choose to prefer God;s way over your own. Accept where you are and thank Him for leading you out.
Lord , be in ocntrol of our lives. We lay them on the altar, a sacrifice to You and ask thatYou change us, our hearts, our minds, our circumstances..Lord have Your way.
Amen

It Doesn't Take Faith To Flip People Off...

2007-11-06T10:28:00.001-08:00

...but it sure feels good sometimes, doesn't it?

Did you see it coming? Yesterday when I got the teaching I got..did you see where it was going?
I didn't although I should have. I really want to indulge in a little infantile indulgence. Please?
How do you respond when things don't go exactly your way? What if they don't go your way at all?
Last night some things happened that were, admittedly, bad. They came on top of other things that were ..uh...bad.
Was I offended. Oh yeah. And I can get offended as well as anyone. I am GOOD at it. Trust me. I was sitting here at the computer writing and deleting the same email for over an hour. Being very transparent, gritty, and honest here ..the first words were a very spiritual:
Have you lost your freaking mind?
I never did send the email. There was no love in it, while the issue does need to be addressed Marc will address it because that is his job. As a prophet I get to give the warnings..but once in awhile Marc has to be called in to do the warrior thing. It ain't pretty.
What keeps us in the will of God when stuff happens? What keeps us from just flipping off the powers that be, the person that angered us, or the church, and stalking off?
We have made a commitment to follow the Lord. Period. It was made along time ago. We will not make a move until He has told us to go. So, while I am staring desperately at the spiritual ham radio willing Him to come across with an ALL CLEAR, you are ALL clear for take-off, over....
I know that ultimately I will do whatever He says...and He will tell Marc before He tells me.
Mature righteousness is not worrying about what people will think about what you do, it is not leaving in a huff because you find out that a place is not where it needs to be spiritually...Mature righteouness is the calm presence of mind to stand firm and wait for God to launch you...and not refusing to launch because you are worried about what people will think.
Transition. Get used to it. We will be here for awhile.
More tomorrow.

Control Freaks Convention

2007-11-05T12:59:00.000-08:00

This is taken from the Message.
2Tim 2:22 Run away from infantile indulgence. Run after mature righteousness - faith, love, peace - joining those who are in honest and serious prayer before God. 23 Refuse to get involved in inane discussions; they always end up in fights. 24 God's servant must not be argumentative, but a gentle listener and a teacher who keeps cool,

I am planning on going through this slowly this week. One, because of time constraints, and two, because it is a meaty bit of scripture.
We all have them. infantile indulgences. I like people to do things my way (the right way) and I dislike it when I have given them a reasonable argument and they persist in having their way. Maybe it is the prophet in me but I want to punch them in the face and walk off.
Infantile indulgences. I like to argue when I think I am right.
I see infantile indulgences in others. The need to shop, the need to pretend to be spiritually mature, drinking to excess, choosing friends that are not spiritually healthy...indulgences. Things we do because somewhere inside us they just feel good.
It is time to put away these toys, put our big boy and bog girl panties on, and move on. Time to stop trying to control everyone around us by mandating spirituality. Time to realize that where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom and where there is flesh there is always death. ALways. Mandated spirituality is a flesh response to percieved ungodliness and the desire to control. Look at David and the census. He got nervous and had a stupid attack. Control, flesh, death.
What is it that you want to control right now? Ask God to show you 1-3 things. We are going to deal with them this week and it may hurt. But it will hurt good.
Lord show us our hearts, show us our flesh and our need to control...help us see it for what it is..Amen.

5 Fold Ministry Teacher

2007-10-31T09:53:00.001-07:00

Yeah! Almost done!

A teacher teaches. Simple right?
A teacher is motivated to impart knowledge. They are always studying, referencing, letting people know obscure information....I have some of those tendencies but I promise, i am not a teacher. I research because I have to not because I want to or enjoy it. :P
Teachers make great "pastors' of churches as we define pastor in modern times. They have a knack of telling you things in such a way that a little light goes on and you think "aha!".
I have had pastors that were prophets. That is a little tough sometimes because there are times that prophets are sort of out there and hard to understand. I have had pastors that are evangelist and their entire motivation is to get the church "out there" and evangelizing. I have had pastors that are apostles and really are not happy until they give up the church and move out into church planting and oversight...I have had pastors that are pastors and sometimes they are just too accepting of sin in the body...the best pastors, in my opinion, are teachers because if someone is going to stand in front of me talking for an hour and a half on a sunday I would like to get something out of it. The teacher will read numerous books and scriptures, research in Strongs and Vines and do what ever it takes to make sure that he gives the body the information it needs in a way it can understand. You will find teachers asking why alot when others are teaching..They just need to know. You will see them frantically flipping through their Bibles during a sermon to make sure that the scriptures being cited are correct.
As the Body learns to give up positions in favor of motivations and giftings the church will be much more effective in ministry.
Lord, show each of us what our giftings are. Help us to be happy with who we are and how You have made us, and allow us to confidently do that which You have equipped us to do.
Amen

Pastor

2007-10-30T09:53:00.000-07:00

i was thinking that pastor would be easy and then I realized that most people really don;t understand what a pastor is. I said something the other night about Marc being a pastor and someone mentioned that they did not know he had his certification.
yikes.
O.k..If you believe that the pastor is the guy that stands up and preaches on sunday morning, and you don;t even drink around him, and he is credentialed...raise your hand.
Wrong. Sorry.
A pastor is someone who is called to shepherd a flock. A church can have many pastors in it. Credentials are unimportant. What God has called you to is the important thing. I realize that this is a challenging statement to some. The church was never about denominations. Denominations, or as I often mistype it:demon-i-nations are only a nod to the fact that humans can't get along. Basically, at a gut level every denomination thinks it is the correct one when in reality they are a part of a whole. However..THAT is for another time.
In Acts 20 Peter uses the terms for pastor, elder, and bishop interchangeably. They all refer to men, who work together, to oversee the Body, to nurture it, to lead it, as a shepherd.
When we move from that pattern we become like the Israelites begging Moses to go up the mountain for them.
A pastor is to be an example to the flock. That seems laughable nowdays because so many pastors have become so full of themselves that they set themselves up as demi gods. People allow themselves to worship them and then are devastated when they ultimately fall. Sad, that.
A pastor will genuinely care for the well being of others. He will not use them as a means to his own agenda.
A pastor will empower his flock to find their own solutions by looking to the Lord for guidance. Any time a congregation is looking to the pastor for hte answers there is a problem. When I did wildlife rehabilitation it was imperative for the well being of the animal I was workign with that it not look to me as it's solution. I must maintain enough closeness to let it know it was cared for but enough distance to allow it to find it's confidence apart from me. In the same way a pastor teaches those he pastors to look beyond him and to Christ.
A pastor has certain criteria he must meet. Largely our churches today ignore it.
A Pastor actively seeks the hurting, and lost, and weak in his flock and keeps them closer than the healthier sheep. A healthy sheep that becomes jealous and gets involved in *sibling rivalry* in the body has alot to learn.
A pastor, like an evangelist is concerned with relationship. he has an eye on a longer term, and deeper relationship than the evangelist will though.
If you like to help people grow in their giftings, if you believe in leading by example, then you may be a pastor.
Just because you may be the head of a particular church body does NOT make you a pastor. You can have the title of a Pastor without being a pastor. SOme Pastors are are prophets, some are teachers, some are pastors, and a few, very unhappy ones, are evangelists. The best Pastor is actually a teacher, but the best pastor is always a pastor.
Got it?
lord help us to understand our giftings. Thank you for pastors int he church that act as Your hands and are willing to lead by example. Amen.

Evangelist2

2007-10-29T08:41:00.000-07:00

You know how sometimes life gets away from you? Well I am struggling with that! It is my goal to post daily except Sundays but I am not making it. Anyway...
Each ministry feels that his or her own ministry is the most important. Evangelists just cannot understand why people aren't lining up to get out there and present the gospel. I can't understand why evangelists feel it is so important to get people saved when the ones that are all ready saved aren't walking it out...and on and on. I want to say it again. Underline this. Highlight it.
WHile everyone should be ready to present the gospel, do not get under condemnation if you are a teacher and would prefer to teach people the intricacies of the book of Esther. Don't feel frustrated if you are an apostle and you keep wanting to slap the evangelist down and remind them that there isn't even a infra-structure set up in the area to handle the new converts. It takes all of the five fold ministry working together for the Body to work smoothly. Sometimes we forget that.
Evangelists are often sanguine, in that they seem to be able to talk to anyone about anything. They genuinely like people, and people often are drawn to them. This is as it should be because there needs to be a connection in order for the gifting to flow. Where a prophet is intimidating, an apostle is looked up to, a teacher is looked to for information, and a pastor is often looked to for comfort, the evangelist will seemingly draw people. The party animal if you will. It is part of the evangelistic gifting to encourage others to evangelize, again, we are all called to share the gospel..just not always as intently as the evangelist.
You might see an evangelist pushing ministry opportunities, that is his life. He is not happy unless he is actively reaching the lost. And that's o.k. for him.
Now, you can tell if you are an evangelist if you are reading this and you are irritated because I didn't say everyone should have that same passion. :)
Philip was the only person in the Bible who is called an evangelist in Acts 21:8.
Then we went on to Caesarea and stayed at the home of Philip the Evangelist, one of the seven men who had been chosen to distribute food.

There are many instances of evangelistic activity but he is the only one that carries that title. I am planning a study on why that is when I get a chance. If you know, or have studied it let me know and you can guest blog!
TOmorrow we will go on t pastor, and then probably finish up with teacher on wednesday since I dont think those ministries are as hard to understand.

Lord, help us to know and understand what purpose we have in the Body. Help us to work with eachother, and accept other ministries so that the Body can funciton smoothly and ministry can flow. Help us to cease from criticism and judgement of others for their precieved lacks and for their passions but allow us to encourage eachother in love and spur eachother on in our own giftings. Amen.

Evangelist

2007-10-26T06:03:00.000-07:00

I thought that evangelists are pretty much an easy one to spot. I am rethinking that.
An evangelist is similar to an apostle but is not involved in the process of detting up the structure of the church. An evangelist is about getting people saved, and getting saved people recommitted.
You can pick him out, he is the one leading the way for prison ministry, community outreach, missions trips and even missions support.
The evangelist has a heart for getting people saved. I am going to go out on a limb here and say that is not hte case with every office in the five fold ministry. I have heard too many people say that if your heart is not for getting out there and reaching hte lost you aren't communicating with God.
I love to see people get saved. It is important to me. But it is not my focus. My focus is to get people headed in the direction God says for them to go, to point out where they are off course, to speak things that are not as though they were in the church. I am a prophet and I do the work of a prophet. It would be stupid of me to go to an evangelist and say, hey! You are getting all these people saved but you need to point out their sins and tell them where God wants them to be..you need to speak maturity in their lives...
No. His focus is on birthing the baby into the kingdom. My focus is on disciplining the child. An apostle gives the child a home, a teacher gives him information and a pastor nurtures him. It is only when ALL the offices are working together that we have a real church. If you are not an evangelist please do not let yourself come under condemnation because you aren't drolling to get out there and hand out tracts!
More tomorrow
Lord Help us to understand our part in the ministry. Help us to do the work You have called us to with excellence and understanding.. Amen.

Apostles Part 2

2007-10-24T11:59:00.000-07:00

1 Cor 12:28
And God has appointed these in the church: first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, after that miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, administrations, varieties of tongues.
Eph 2:19 Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, 20 having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief corner stone, 21 in whom the whole building, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord,
Eph 4:11 And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers,
whew.

Notice that apostles and prophets are sort of grouped together? I used to wonder about that until I really got into the Word and realized that it is these two offices that recieve the most grief. Apostles and Prophets are spoken of as ebing hte foundation for others to build upon.
I don't think it is randomm in Eph 4:11 that the list starts with apostles, and then goes on. The apostle births and builds, the prophet directs, the evangelist comes along and draws in so that the pastor can lead and the teacher can teach. How simple is that?
The apostle, when he is rejected, is told by Christ in LUke 9:5 to shake the very dust of hte place off his feet and go on. How many churches have come under a curse because they refuse to accept the apostle into their body?
Within the church it is the apostles responsibility to deal with sin in leadership. Perhaps it is pointed out by the prophet, or perhaps it is just that obvious, but an apostle will go and deal with it. It is his responsibility not because he has the right credentials but because God has appointed him to that place.
Apostles will not be accepted in the body, fo rhte most part. Like a prophet they will be held at a distance. Spiritually they are different and the Body knows it.
An apostle will carry out his duties without asking for payment. Look at Paul's description of what he did as an apostle in 2 Cor 12: 10 Since I know it is all for Christ's good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

11 You have made me act like a fool � boasting like this. You ought to be writing commendations for me, for I am not at all inferior to these "super apostles," even though I am nothing at all. 12 When I was with you, I certainly gave you every proof that I am truly an apostle, sent to you by God himself. For I patiently did many signs and wonders and miracles among you. 13 The only thing I didn't do, which I do in the other churches, was to become a burden to you. Please forgive me for this wrong! 14 Now I am coming to you for the third time, and I will not be a burden to you. I don't want what you have; I want you. And anyway, little children don't pay for their parents' food. It's the other way around; parents supply food for their children. 15 I will gladly spend myself and all I have for your spiritual good, even though it seems that the more I love you, the less you love me
An apostle will owrk tirelessly and patiently to build, strengthen, encourage, and purify a Body.
A prophet will tell you what to do and then call fire down on you if you don't jump to it ::grin::::
Any questions?

Caution:Hard Hat Area

2007-10-23T12:13:00.000-07:00

I had this written and it disappeared. Don't you hate that?

The next gifting we are looking at is that of an Apostle. There is alot of confusion about what an apostle is because much of his ministry is building.
If we bring analogy to the picture, to me the giftings look like this
Apostle: blood
Prophet: eyes
Evangelist: heart
Pastor: hands
Teacher: mouth

The apostle is the blood because he brings to the body whatever it needs at the time. He can be found nailing up boards one day to build the physical walls of a church, and the next day teaching a class. Later in the week he may be preaching about salvation, and a month later giving a stern word of correction.
It is hard to define an apostle because in a sense he is everything he needs to be to build the body of Christ, as he needs to be it.
The apostle works to bring the pastor, evangelist, teacher, and the prophet all together in unity. Part of the reason that this ministry is so misunderstood and invisible, again, is that the enemy wants this ministry to fail more than any other except maybe a prophet. Disunity keeps us from moving in power. Without the work of the apostles the church will not move in unity, a part will always suffocate from lack of oxygen.
An apostle may be found in a 3rd world country building a building one week, preaching a salvation message the next, offering a stern correction the week after that and guiding a misled body back to the right path a month later. Byt he natureo f what an apostle does he
tends not to become attached to any particular church, except a home church that he works out of, but he moves within the body to bring whatever is needed as the Lord moves him.
If your church body is not being built, not growing, it is because the apostles are either not doing their job, or not being allowed to do their job. BEgin to pray release over the apostles and watch things change.
Apostles network within the body, between bodies, to bring about growth and maturity. They have the ability to see, and nurture, the giftings in others and help them begin to grow. Normally the apostle will be gone before maturity happens, so the teacher and the pastor are responsible for watering the seed.
One of the MAIN problems in the church today is that people want the pastor to be all of it. They want him to move in all five ministries. SOme pastors encourage that. That is how pastors end up being mini-gods in mega churches. They need to do it all..they can't allow anyone else to have a ministry because it intimidates them.
Some denominations feel that a Word should only come from certain people...here is a word for ya..CREDENTIALS
...and here is another.... GOD
They are not always the same. And personally I will listen to the person God sends over the credentialled person...EVERY STINKING TIME
Does that help at all?
I am not done..more about apostles tomorrow.

Last But No Least : The Responsibility of A Prophet

2007-10-22T06:27:00.000-07:00

A prophet is given to the Body of Christ to be the navigator on the journey. His purpose is to let the body know when it is getting off course and continue to encourage them on course. He may point out a side road that the Lord wants explored on the journey...
But that is not all. Often a prophet will walk out something in his own life, prophetically. This is part of the prophetic intercession that he is called to. God will allow him to walk through circumstances that a group he is attached to is about to walk out in some way. This is hard to explain, you see it often in the lives of the prophets in the old testament. Last year we were threatened with a law suit over something we had not done, nor had any control over. Our part had been handled correctly and honestly. We cried out to the Lord, fasted and prayed, and He delivered us from it. But we began to pray over the church we are involved with. Sure enough a couple of weeks later the same thing happened with the church. The church was also delivered from the situation.
A prophet is not responsible for what you do with what he tells you.. His responsibility ends when he gives the Word to the best of his ability. His responsibility ends when he has a Word and is not allowed to give it. That does not mean that it isn't heart breaking to have a Word that is unspoken or rejected. It is a painful thing. But the freedom of choice allows us to accept or reject prophecy.
Someone asked me how I know when i have a Word form God. I often don't have the words that I am going to speak, only a general idea or a few sentences. But I will feel the Holy Spirit lay a mantle over my shoulders..There will be a feeling of heaviness on me. I will feel hot, and my heart will pound almost uncontrollably. I will feel shaky, and my solar-plexis will feel as if it is about to explode. It is a spiritual sneeze that wants to be brought forth and will not be comfortably held back. If I can't give the Word I will usually ask someone if I can lay hands on them and pray for them. Odd as it may sound this helps to release the built up anointing.
Why can't a prophet always give Words?
Hmm. Sometimes those in authority: the pastor, elders, etc. just don't allow the prophet to come up even if he has made it known that he has a Word. A prophet must be under the authority of the pastor at the church he has been called to. Sometimes there is not a natural break in the service and it would be out of order for the prophet to do a hostile take over, tempting though that may be.
Sometimes God says that it isn't time for the Word.
It is very important for pastors and praise leaders to be attentive to the Holy Spirit, allowing breaks in the worship as the spirit leads..I would encourage pastors to take the time during those breaks to ask if the Lord is speaking a Word to anyone and invite them forward.
Yeah, you DO lose some control..but really the Holy Spirit needs to hold the reigns anyway. Are you afraid He can't do his job?
If a prophet gives a Word don't just accept it. Pray over it. Ask the Lord, Hey, God, does this apply to me? What do You want me to do with it? Do not sell your house and move to Bangladesh over a Word that someone gives you unless it is confirmed.
I know someone, well, knew, it has been a long time. A prophet told them they were called to minister in a third world country and they should sell everything and go. The wife was not in agreement. The couple divorced because the husband didn't want to let his wife hold him back!
PUH-leeze. Your family is not going to hold you back and if you are bing encouraged to do something that is not in your heart to do, or that your spouse is against just wait and see what the Lord does.
O.k..so tomorrow we will look at Apostles.
Lord, thank you for prophetic ministry. Help us to see it for what it is, as a help, not as anything else. Help us to hear Your voice clearly today. Set our day in order and order our steps. Confirm Your Word to us and encourage us in all we do.We give it to you, for Your glory.
Amen.

Stone Him

2007-10-20T05:39:00.000-07:00

I researched all over the place what people had to say about a prophet being wrong. I was curious. I know the Old Testament says that if the prophet is wrong he is to be stoned but the New Testament is silent on that. Si I am going to ask that you read what I am about to say prayerfully.
It is hard for me to understand a Christian that eat ham, wears cotton/wool blend garments (yeah, the laws tell you not to blend to fabrics), and extends forgiveness and applies grace for sin but will not accept a prophet of God who perhaps has gotten it wrong. I will talk about the perhaps later.
The Bible tells us that if a child is rebellious we are to take him outside the camp and stone him. Tempted though I may be at times I don;t think that directive is for today. Nor is the stoning of a prophet. Stop picking and choosing which scriptures you are going to follow, o.k.?
A prophet can be wrong. Sad but true. Sometimes he is hearing something from God but in immaturity speaks out of turn. Sometimes, because the word of the prophet is subjct to the prophet, he is speaking from his own perception over a situation. Sometimes, he is speaking something that God intends but there is intercession and the thing changes, or he is speaking of something that is yet to happen. If you look at Isaiah's prophecy of the virgin being with child, well in his lifetime were he judged by his peers he would need to have been stoned. It didn't happen for hundreds of years after he had died. Stoning must be for something specific?
It is. You see, God knows the heart. If my heart is to lead people astray, have them worship me rather than God, manipulate a situation, or get my own way by my prophecy then there should correction. If the gifts are flowing and I am attached to a local Body where I am accountable then I will be corrected and things will go smoothly. When I was doing HearthStones I had an oversight group in place. 7 people that agreed to read my teachings weekly and correct me as needed. Not just seven people picked randomly but seven people that God directed me to ask, who had been in leadership in my life and who I knew were strong believers and would not let me slide.
In hte Old Testament people did not hear God unless they were prophets. Remember? The refused to go up on the Mountain with Moses so the consequences for that were to always hear the Lord through a prophet, until Christ. If a prophet mislead them they were totally stuck...He was their walkie-talkie with God.
Now we have the ability to hear the Lord for ourselves. A prophet's job is slightly different in that it will confirm in our spirit's something we know God is saying. Even if we didn't know it before there will be an agreement from within us that the word is of God.
Don;t let hte enemy steal prophecy from the church. It is needed today more than ever.
Lord, help us to accept Your word. Help us to understand and move in the giftings of the five fold ministry and to respect and honor and encourage our prophets. Be will each of us today and guide everythign we do, every move we make, and every thought we have.
Amen

The Call of Prophet

2007-10-19T05:27:00.000-07:00

I am starting with prophet because I do think that this is one of the most misunderstood, dishonored, ignored ministries in the Body. Not unlike the prophets of the Old Testament.
The purpose of a prophet is not so much to hear from God for the people but to confirm what God has all ready said to them in their spirit. A prophet may hear from God about international issues, national issues, local issues, issues in a particular Body or group, or issues on an individual basis. Chuck Pierce, for example, hears from God on things that he is to share on a very broad level. I hear from God on things that I am to share with a much smaller group. Yet both of us are working in the same gifting and goal, to see God's people headed in the right direction.
Even though everyone with a relationship (and many without) Christ can and will hear His voice there are times that God will also speak through a prophet. Here are soem of those instances:
1.When a Believer is allowing himself to be deceived. The heart is deceptive above all things. A prophet may be given a word to break through the lie that is being believed.
2. To confirm a direction that God has given a ministry or a person.
3. To proclaim something God is about to do
4, To encourage
5. To convict and judge unbelievers: Marc and I were ministering to someone in our home one time. Marc, having a compassionate pastor's heart, was gently leading them to the Lord. Or trying to..they were balking every step. I looked at them, in the eye and said, God says that if you continue on in this way, your children will be taken from you and you will be in jail in less than a month.
Sure enough a few months later we heard from this guy. He had just gotten out of jail and was working on getting his children back but he had gotten saved! The compassionate words of my husband planted the seed and when he went through the fire he knew that God had forewarned him.
6. To speak things that are not into existence according to God's will. Ezekiel was told to tell dry bones to live again and the skeletons reformed and came to life. Sometimes God will use a prophet to speak a word, in faith, that births something God wants birthed. A prophets is usually very aware of the power of the spoken word.
There are some others but these are the main ones. The office of the prophet is misunderstood and ignored, I think, because the enemy knows that it is the one ministry that illuminates him for what he is. It shines light on his hiding places and points him out and he hates it. So, if satan can get you to totally discount prophecy in the church today he can continue to skulk in your life..if he can get you to be critical,"oh, they think they are important", or "oh..she is not so smart, I hear form God" then he can build a wall in you that leaves you vulnerable. If hte five fold ministry is a hand then the loss of any finger leaves the hand less able to function than it was before.
Most congregations will readily acknowledge a pastor, a teacher, or an evangelist but the office of prophet is scoffed, and the office of the apostle is undefined in many places. To me, this leaves the pointer finger and the thumb paralyzed.
I have been asked about when a prophet gives a prophecy that doesn't happen...and I will go in to that tomorrow. I have a hunch that we will be on prophets for a week, then apostles for a week, then we will deal with the more accepted offices.
Church, it is time to function in wholeness.
Lord, forgive us for concentrating on two or three offices in the church and disregarding the fullness that You have created. Help us to desire Your ways Your methods, Your words, Your direction above anything else and to accept and move readily int he gifts and offices You have given us. If we have held back from fear thenLord heal us and help us to move forward in our giftings, what ever the outcome. You have given us a spirit of boldness and a sound mind, not fear and cowering. Give us the vision to take the land and slay the giants and feast on the giant grapes You Lord have grown for our pleasure.
Amen.

It's Not My Fault

2007-10-18T05:54:00.000-07:00

Ephesians 4:11 It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, 12 to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

I am seeing a trend in churches that makes me nervous. Actually, I am seeing alot of them. Lucky for you, I am only going to speak to this one. Five fold ministry. Take a look. There it is. Right in Ephesians, the holy Word of God, where it has always been. Read carefully. You need this information. I will wait. Read it twice if you need to.
There. Now.
Whether we like it or not God has given different, dare I say it? POSITIONS to different people. It's His gig. He can do that. He hasn't given them the positions so that they can be cooler than other people but so that the Body can function. Pastors lead people. They are the shepherds helping people, walking along side them, showing them the way and carrying them part way if they need to. That is what Pastors do. Or at least what they are called to do. You can Pastor a church and not be a pastor. You can be a pastor and not pastor a church. It is your heart. Most people don;t have a problem with Pastors, they see the need for them. The main issue I see is a lack of honor for the postition..but we will get to that later..Probably tomorrow because I am on this subject for several days.
Nope..what I am seeing the organized church do is..man..I hate to say this...it is so Old Testament....Disregard the Prophets.
Did you hear thunder when I said that? I did.
God speaks to everyone who seeks Him and some people who don't. I have no argument there. But..you know...Moses was different than Aaron...Isaiah was different that Joshua...the call of a prophet is not better than the call of a pastor but it is as important as the call of a pastor. It is a valuable gift that God has given the church and too many don't understand it..That's fine because all you have to do is keep reading this week and you will understand the whole five fold ministry. It may take more than a week. I don;t know. I have been known to get on a subject for a month or two..Depends on what God tells me.
Lord, help us to understand the order of the body as YOU have set it in place. Help us to honor eachothers giftings and motivations and help us to honor those to whom you have given authority to lead. Teach us not to worship a man but to acknowledge the position You have given him. In Jesus Name, I ask. Amen.

First Responder

2007-10-17T05:40:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 2: 22 You should stop trusting in people to save you, because people are only human; they aren't able to help you.

I think we have to walk a fine balance here. You see, most of the time when God sends help it is through a human...but we need to remember that it is through a human and not a human.
It is so much easier to stand at the base of the mountain and wait for someone more spiritual than we are to seek the face of God, and let us know what He says, rather than fining out on our own, isn't it. Yet, when we do that, we miss out on the very center and purpose of a Christian life. Relationship with the Lord.
I know that I could not have walked through the past months, the past couple of years with out that moment to moment relationship with Him. Call it a crutch if you want to..I prefer not to make a step without a look at Him to see if He is nodding. People tell me I am strong but it is not my strength they are seeing.
I am reading about George Mueller again. I love his autobiography. I love the faith he had. He owuld not even mention a need to anyone , he wanted all provision to come from God without prior human knowledge. I wonder what our lives would look like if we all did this?
I seriously think it would be a good exercise to spend a month not mentioning needs but trusting God to make them known to those He chose. No doubt the enemy would be on it and things would be made as difficult as possible...
It isn't in the hand of a man to help you, not in his mind, or heart. Help comes from the Lord an only there do we find what we are looking for.
Lord help us to honor You in all areas today, to look to You as our Lord, not just a ticket to Heaven, or a 911 responder. Lord help us to understand and desire to build reltiaonhsip with You the way You want to build it with us....and be glorified in all we do today..amen.

Mourning into Dancing

2007-10-16T05:22:00.000-07:00

22 because that was when the Jewish people got rid of their enemies. They were also to celebrate it as the month their sadness was turned to joy and their crying for the dead was turned into celebration. He told them to celebrate those days as days of joyful feasting and as a time for giving food to each other and presents to the poor.

Friday I had one of those days where it hits every emotional extreme. I have been under tons of stress because of a job that I am training for. It is one of those things that you train hard but you are in competition with other people for the job so you still don't know if your best will be good enough...I dislike that. I am not competitive normally, I am one of those people that will not compete unless I know all ready that I am going to excel. Failure devastates me and I grew up believing that I excelled at failure. :)
Anyway so I am in the midst of this, trying to walk through it in a way that God would approve of, asking Him constantly to order my steps...
I dropped Marc off at work and needed to run in to the grocery nearby to pick up a couple of things. It is a Tom Thumb store, if you are familiar with that, and in the mornings the markdowns can be amazing...meat for 1.00 a lb, 1 dozen organic eggs for 75 cents...Well this particular morning not only did I snag meat but they had baking chocolate..bittersweet, chocolate chips, chocolate caramel swirl chips...name it. And it was all $1 a pack. Andouille sausage, %1.00, deli turkey breast..$1.00
Are you getting what I am feeling? Yeah. I stocked up. I bought over $100.00 of stuff and the bill came to $50.25. Remember that number..it is important.
Not only had I gotten all that at a discount but I got an extra 10% off the bill because of a promotion that they are doing. I got a loaf of bread free...and I because the bill was over $50, I got 10cents a gallon off the gas, meaning I filled up for 1.32 per gallon. Marc told me later that 30 minutes after I filled up the gas went up in price. He can see the pumps from his store.
I was HAPPY. I was praising God..I was in grocery nirvana...xanadu...name it. 12 virgins in heaven? HAH! I had over 12 bars of bittersweet baking chocolate!
I stopped by Marc's store to share the joy...and heard an odd noise....shhhhoooooooshhhhh...
The sound of my tire going flat.
Now, I was 5 miles from home. I had the only vehicle. Marc was at work and isn't driving anyway because of the drugs he is on...(if you don't normally read here..uh..they are prescription) and I have no one I can call. My joy turned to angst. I wanted to pitch a fit as only a really spoiled 3 year old can do...
I was not maintaining my composure well,and of course Marc talked to me in the wrong tone of voice and I lost it. Not that I had a tone you understand. I was maintaining...more or less.
Mostly less. But I was doing a Natalie Wood impression under my breath..You know the part in the old Miracle on 34th st movie where she is disappointed because there is no mention of a house under the tree? I believe..I believe..I know it's stupid but I believe..
Well I was doing a form of that. Gritting my teeth and trying not to cry and repeating, I know there is blessing in this somewhere Lord, so thank you.
Out of the blue the church secretary called about updating the website I made for the church (the promise church ). Why she called Marc I will never know but what ended up happening is about 10 minutes later the Pastor pulled up...ended up buying us 4 new tires which we desperately needed, and I got to talk to him about some things, casually, that I felt were important. And I think he and I, who seem to not understand each other always, found a common language.
Not that I am difficult to understand. Truly I am not. I am just an enigma to most men because I don't pull punches, I am not feminine in the least, and I don't play games. I am not great at small talk, but I do like to talk about deep issues. And if I see something off in your life and God tells me to mention it I will. I have one really good friend who has been able to stick it out for something like 19 years. Other than that, just Marc, and he has a contract.
Anyway...the point to all of this is circumstances can turn around in an instant. We need to be looking for it.
Are you in something hard today? God can turn it around. Just believe. Even if you have to do it through gritted teeth.
Lord, it is hard for us to believe sometimes. Like the centurion we say, Lord we believe, help our unbelief! Be with us today Lord, turn things around for us. Help us to be faith-filled, knowing that You will complete what You started. You Lord, can turn our mourning to dancing and our sorrow to joy. Thank You for what You are about to do to day in the lives of each person reading this..amen.

Obtaining Mercy

2007-10-15T04:53:00.000-07:00

1 Thank the Lord because he is good. His love continues forever. 2 That is what those whom the Lord has saved should say. He has saved them from the enemy 3 and has gathered them from other lands, from east and west, north and south. 4 Some people had wandered in the desert lands. They found no city in which to live. 5 They were hungry and thirsty, and they were discouraged. 6 In their misery they cried out to the Lord, and he saved them from their troubles. 7 He led them on a straight road to a city where they could live. 8 Let them give thanks to the Lord for his love and for the miracles he does for people. 9 He satisfies the thirsty and fills up the hungry.

10 Some sat in gloom and darkness; they were prisoners suffering in chains. 11 They had turned against the words of God and had refused the advice of God Most High. 12 So he broke their pride by hard work. They stumbled, and no one helped. 13 In their misery they cried out to the Lord, and he saved them from their troubles. 14 He brought them out of their gloom and darkness and broke their chains. 15 Let them give thanks to the Lord for his love and for the miracles he does for people. 16 He breaks down bronze gates and cuts apart iron bars.

17 Some fools turned against God and suffered for the evil they did. 18 They refused to eat anything, so they almost died. 19 In their misery they cried out to the Lord, and he saved them from their troubles. 20 God gave the command and healed them, so they were saved from dying. 21 Let them give thanks to the Lord for his love and for the miracles he does for people. 22 Let them offer sacrifices to thank him. With joy they should tell what he has done.

Notice anything about this? Every single hardship that is talked about in this psalm was brought about by the person's own choice. Pride,turning against God, refusing His advice, even anorexia...the list is there for us to read. Yet after every hardship it says that the people cried out to the Lord and He delivered them.
So many of us walk through rough times with the attitude of acceptance. "Well, I brought this on myself." We know we have done wrong, but rather than seeking the Lord, confident in our forgiveness (because alot of the time, we have repented prior to this point) we feel some medieval need to wear a horsehair shirt and flagellate ( a dark ages practice of beating ones self with a whip to *make up* for sin) until we have wallowed in the circumstances long enough to need to cry out to God.
Crying out to God is the first thing after repentance and turning from sin. He is a personal God..right here with us. He experienced it all. He understands our pain, our emotions, even our doubt. He can change even those circumstances we bring on ourselves and release us from the traps, the prisons and the deserts of our own making. Do we deserve it? Of course not, but if we only received the mercy we deserved we would all be going to hell.
Thank Him today that He is a lovign Father, that circumstances can be changed, that mercy is obtainable, and that He hears our cries. And don't be afraid to ask Him to step in and change your life. Maybe it won't happen the way you expect..but it will happen.
When it does, leave a comment so we can rejoice with you!

Lord,
We are all involved in circumstances beyond our control. None of us has everything in order today, some of us are just better at juggling htan others. Hear our cries for mercy, lead us on Your paths because they are straight and level. Bring us out of our circumstances and into Your courtyards of praise.. Amen.

I Can Do All Things......

2007-10-14T15:37:00.000-07:00

My son Sean gets songs from the Lord..This would not be too awfully amazing except that he is 8. And...he has only one ear, which makes it hard for him to keep a melody going..but you know, he loves music. He loves to play piano, he loves to sing, and play guitar...You know, when God gives us a gift we are without excuse if we don't use it. This kid has every reason to stay away from music..yet he truly believes God will help him overcome every single thing in his life in order to do what God has called him to do.
What is holding you back today? Because God is not a God of holding back He is a God of moving forward. He is not a God of fear and trepidation and reasons why you can't..He is a God of I can do all things through Christ who is my strength.

This is the newest song by Sean...
Jesus, I believe You made the sun and the moon and the stars
I believe You made the sea and the sky
I believe You made the fish and the birds
I believe You made the land and the plants
I believe you made the animals and the humans
I believe You walked on the water
I believe You woke the dead
I believe You healed the sick

he says he is waiting for the chorus... :)

The Lord's Linguistics

2007-10-13T05:45:00.000-07:00

I did not miss my Bible reading yesterday, and actually the Lord and I discussed several issues.. :/
But due to all of the absolute junk that happened I didn't get here to write. I wills ay that I was incredibly blessed and God took a very frustrating day and turned it in to a blessing, as always. An odd thing happened yesterday, I would ask for prayer for discernment on. Kyrie (4 years) walked around the house speaking in tongues all day. Or what sounded like tongues. I have never had a child do that so early...and am not sure what to think. We'll see how she is today. Also I am in a training program that has me stressed. It shouldn't but it seems ot be bringing out every insecurity ever programmed into me. I was very tempted to quit yesterday just because I dislike the emotions I am dealing with.

Esther 1:16 Then Memucan said to the king and the other important men, "Queen Vashti has not done wrong to the king alone. She has also done wrong to all the important men and all the people in all the empire of King Xerxes. 17 All the wives of the important men of Persia and Media will hear about the queen's actions. Then they will no longer honor their husbands. They will say, 'King Xerxes commanded Queen Vashti to be brought to him, but she refused to come.' 18 Today the wives of the important men of Persia and Media have heard about the queen's actions. So they will speak in the same way to their husbands, and there will be no end to disrespect and anger.

My teaching focus has always been women. I mean, if you are a guy reading this, great, but for the most part I identify with women's issues (duh). When I was reading this verse in the Amplified it said,Let each woman speak the language of her own husband. That really popped out at me. I have read every relationship book out there, memorized the information in The 5 Love Languages, and other books...but here God is telling me that the responsibility is mine, to speak Marc's language. I don't know what men are supposed to do, and what's more, it doesn't concern me. God has his own Words and directives for them. But here God is telling women that respecting our husbands is primary and it is our responsibility to learn how to communicate effectively with them.
I can think of many reasons for that. Women tend to be more intuitive, and flexible when it comes to adapting to other people. God gave us those gifts for a reason.
I am always amazed at the furor Vashti created. It seems a small thing;I don't feel like it,but in reality our actions as mature women, Titus 2 women, toward our husbands are watched by other women who might not be as mature. Our daughters watch how we interact with our husbands, and so do our sons. There is nothing that will create a rebellious child quicker than a woman who is resistant to her husband's leadership.
And there is nothing that I have seen that causes a man to spiritually crumple so quickly as to have a woman in his house that is resistant.
Sometimes our ministry is not so much in what we say as what we do, what other people see both in us, and reflected in our lives. Our attitudes good, or bad, are reflected for the world to see in the actions of our children. ( The actions of our adult children are on their own heads, in my opinion). My minute evangelism gifting has never been the knock on the door type. It has, however, always operated. People notice me. They notice my kids. I don't know why, they just do. AH! I do know why, it is the Lord illuminating us.
Anyway, if we are in a store, people notice. Strangers come and start conversations with me and pretty soon I am hearing intimate details of their lives and looking furtively for the nearest exit. But I normally have the opportunity to pray with them. My life is my ministry. I am maybe too aware of that sometimes.
The Proverbs 31 woman had a husband that was respected in town. In that proverb that was attributed to HER. If the community sees a lack of honor for our husbands from us then the community will follow suit. If other women see us being dishonoring, they will follow suit in their lives. There is no way around it.
I get frustrated when I see women being so independent and free of thier families..there is a haunted look in the eyes of those men that I find sad. It is not hard to honor your husband. Ask God to show you one thing that he does that you can respect and focus on it until you see more.
Be concerned with what you are teaching by your attitudes, and what is being reflected in your children. It isn't so much that your husband deserves it as it is that God requires it.
Lord help us, as women , to learn our husband's language. Help us to honor him in all we do, and so honor You Lord. Give us new eyes of understanding for him, and help us to be good stewards of the gift of relationship You,Sir, have given us. Help us to find our romantic needs, our need for a hero, help us Lord to find those needs met in You today, and everyday. Amen.

Don't Be Lukewarm

2007-10-11T15:22:00.000-07:00

Seriously there is nothing I dislike more than Pa Kettle Praisers. You know, they are praising the Lord but in slo-mo...no movement..no excitement...no...pizazz. I do tone it down when I am at church (yes really...) but when I am home ....well..I love the joyt hat wells up inside of me when I have the freedom to be myself, my way, with my King...
You gotta love this. I sent it to my church to suggest it as the next training tape.
Thanks MomLady for posting it on your blog...

This Is Awesome

2007-10-11T11:37:00.000-07:00

Character Testing Stinks.

2007-10-11T06:02:00.000-07:00

Psalm 105:19 Until the time came to fulfill his word, the LORD tested Joseph's character.

I don't know why we think that just because God gives us these amazing visions and puts incredible calls on our lives that we are going ot sort of just sit in a hot tub until it all happens. Look at Joseph. I have been, alot lately.
O.k..so I have been living without a hot water heater for 3 weeks now..almost 4. We are getting used to cold showers, an every time I get frustrated and look longingly at the credit card I feel God raise an eyebrow at me. SIgh. He iwll do it in His time...My character is beign tested. Everytime I get frustrated because I have basically gone from being somewhat cool and considered a reasonably spiritually mature person, able to move freely in my giftings to being a nobody, considered rather spiritually immature... chained, bound and gagged..God reminds me that he has a pair of metal snips that could make those chains fall away....if it was His time.
BLAH!
Someone at church wanted to encourage me the other day, I think, and patted my arm and said that it was obvious that my gift was baking. Sigh.
Was Joseph as frustrated as I am? You bet he was...Think about it..he has been told he was going to rule over everyone and there he was picking maggots out of his food in a cold jail cell. He was a somebody that was a nobody, just like me. Just like you.
The joy comes in knowing, as Joseph did, that God had a timing and it was not a forever thing.
And someday I will have a waterheater. And someday I will be free again, to walk in my gifting. Until then I am determined to learn all God has for me right here..right now..today.
Lord help us to be patient as we wait for You to release us from the chains you have allowed us to be wrapped in. Help us to learn the character lessons You have for us to learn. You are not late, You are always on time. Amen

Stupid is as Stupid Does

2007-10-09T05:12:00.000-07:00

Revelation 9:20 But the people who did not die in these plagues still refused to turn from their evil deeds. They continued to worship demons and idols made of gold, silver, bronze, stone, and wood � idols that neither see nor hear nor walk! 21 And they did not repent of their murders or their witchcraft or their immorality or their thefts.

I will freely admit that I will never understand people. I don't understand the mentality of wanting to continue in sin when there is something better. I know what it is to run my own life, to make my own decisions..to be free in the world's definition of free. You can have it, it is not freedom at all.
Freedom is knowing that I am protected. That no matter what comes against me today my body guards will send it howling..Freedom is knowing that I can ask what I should do and recieve great advice that will add blessing. Freedom is knowing that I am loved and accepted and protected no matter what.
I have the freedom to drink booze if I want..but why? That is like saying i have the freedom to overeat if I want..Yes I do but the results of doing so are not what I want in my life.
We all make choices, we all give some things up for other things. If you are into health and fitness you might give up sugar for strength..if you are into running, you migh give up watching a favorite show so you can have more time to train. If you are in love you give up other relationships, even though you might value them to some extent.
We all give up things for things we want more. Living straddling the barbwire is a dangerous place to be, if you don't get barbed you will at least get tangled and find yourself in a precarious position to get out of. I am angry today. I am angry that the devil lies to people and allows them to believe that their lives are "o.k.". I am angry that he decieves people into believing that their lives are guaranteed, or thatt hey just dont have to do anything to be o.k. with God. I am angry that so many people put Jesus Christ in a box on a shelf and only get Him out on SUndays...or less.
Life is short. Every day I see it more, every day brings me closer to something I have dreaded a long time..getting old. Everyday my kids get a little older, a little bigger...a little further away. If everythign changes tomorrow, where will you be? If everythign changes tomorrow, if your entire world caves in do you have Rock to stand on? Or is it just a stone that you are standing on, big enough to offer some stability in hard times but small enough to put away when you think don't need it anymore?
Time is short. There are changes unseen. You can see it everywhere, you know you can. To think that life will go on as it always has is just amazingly foolish. Do not be caught unaware, unprepared.
Lord,help us count the time. Helop us break through deception and see the Truth. Help us to lay it all down on the altar and leave it there...and God...change the hearts that need to be changed today.
amen.

Royal Orders

2007-10-08T04:41:00.000-07:00

Nehemiah 11:22 The chief officer of the Levites in Jerusalem was Uzzi son of Bani, son of Hashabiah, son of Mattaniah, son of Mica, a descendant of Asaph, whose family served as singers at God's Temple. 23 They were under royal orders, which determined their daily activities.

My days, for the most part, are pretty predictable. I try to get up well before I actually have to. I come downstairs, read my daily reading at crosswalk.com, pray, come here and write, pray, check my blogs for comments, check my email, write for Baking Delights...I then feed animals, get breakfast and put my make up on. I take Marc to work if it is a say that he is working, stop by Tom Thumbs' for any clearance groceries they might have, come home, start school/chores/baking...and my day pretty much proceeds in a consistent manner.
Some days are different...Maybe I have to take Marc to the VA, or someone is coming over, or the Lord calls me to pray...
Each day, though, is lifted up to Him. Each day I not only give Him complete control but I wait for my royal orders. I don't want to miss out on anything God has for me. I don't want to be cleaning a toilet when Jesus wants to take me on a coffee date! I take my schedule seriously enough that I have to know am where I am supposed to me every minute.
This is the problem I have with some of the scheduling mavens on the Internet that schedule God right out of their day. If prayer and Bible reading are scheduled from 7-8 a.m., followed by breakfast, and then on to a full day scheduled in 15 minute increments, what happens when the Lord decides that He wants you to head to the store unexpectedly (oh! there is someone there that needs encouragement and you happen to have just the right word!) or he wants you to linger in His lap in the morning? DO you say, sorry, Lord, not today..I just have too much to do?
To me it is so much easier to just have a basic idea of what is happening and then ask the Lord daily to fill in the spaces. I am under royal orders.
I was asked to take a Sunday School class last year at church. The way it happened was that i was asked to fill in for the day and then, later asked to continue. I told the person I would certainly pray about it, and I did. I prayed, I asked God, and then when I felt that I had heard from the Lord, I asked Marc. That is my habit. That is how I decide which things to commit to. The Lord told me no, Marc told me no, and i told the Sunday School Superintendent, "No."
She looked at me like I was nuts. She inferred that I had not sought the Lord and was not open to being a "part".
Whatever. Sometimes the people doing the most in the church are the Martha's of the congregation. Sometimes they are working at the expense of their spiritual lives and the leadership is just so happy to have someone taking the responsibility that they overlook the fact that the person is dying a slow, steady , spiritual death.
I know, I have done that very thing. I have come to the point that I feel it is better that something go undone than for someone to do it outside of God's royal orders.
No kid''s church? so what, bring them in service and let people learn to concentrate on the pastor, not on what is going on in the congregation. No Sunday school? Well, have everyone come in another class, or have a corporate time of prayer.
We are too controlled by what we think needs to be done and not enough by what God asks us to do. Ministry takes many forms. I even was reminded, again, that sometimes God asks us to wear certain things for a reason. Get your royal orders today before you do anything else.
Lord, teach us to be under Your sovereign rule. Help us to do those things which you think are important, not the important things in man's eyes. Be with us in all we do today, and let Your purposes prevail in our lives.Amen

Being Real

2007-10-07T05:39:00.000-07:00

No scripture today..Rushing around and getting ready for church..
But God has been speaking ot me about being real. Really real. Not witht he church reality that we wear on Sunday morning. Not with the reality we think others can handle but with our real selves, hiding nothing and holding nothing back.
You see, we gte hurt in our lives, and we begin to protect ourselves and hold bits and pieces back from others. We strive to be perfect, acceptable, spiritual. Or, in some cases, like mine, just not too much weirder than anyone else.
In doing so we become lukewarm, insipid, predictible, passionless. I was telling someone the other day, in response to a comment about the boobie bakeoff on apronstringsthat I didn't want my church to know was doing it because good Christians don't have boobs.
I was only kidding but the more I thought about it the more sad I got. There is truth in that statement. So many of us are trying to become asexual drones so that we can be spiritual, when our God is anything but a drone. And while He amy have the nurturing abilities most often attributed to a woman He is all male in his speech patterns and responses..Read your Bible..He is not asexual. He is certainly not anti-sexual, having created that lovely pass-time.
But there are other areas where we are not real. Our emotions, our hurts, our struggles...the list just goes on.
Is it worth it? I don't think so. I don't think it is worth losing everything in order to produce a hologram christian.
Real flowers on the altar. Real christians in the Body. Be real. Because noone else can be the real you. ANd if you aren't doing it noone is.

Lord,
make us real today. Amen.

Walking Uprightly In My Own Home

2007-10-06T05:04:00.000-07:00

Psalm 101:2 ... I will lead a life of integrity in my own home.
That seems pretty simple, doesn't it? After all, we are a holy people. Our lives are dedicated to the Lord. We wear the right clothes, are seen in the right places, and...
uh.
Yeah. See, all of that is nothing if we don't walk uprightly in our own homes. Not perfectly, mind you, no one said perfectly, but with integrity. Walking in integrity means that we actually live the values and ideals we set before our children. It means that we don't walk in sin at home and pseudo- spirituality in public.
I am talking about the church elder that sexually abuses his child..I am talking about the pastor that beats the crap out of his wife on Saturday night because he is stressed about Sunday morning, or the praise team mom who criticizes her kids constantly. I am talking about the deacon that has a few too many on the way home from the business meeting, and the pastor's wife who is sleeping with someone who isn't her husband.
Whew! Glad that isn't me.
Yeah...but I am also talking about the gossip, who just can't seem to keep a potentially juicy story to herself. Or the guy who breaks traffic laws regularly, because, you know..that doesn't really matter ( read your Bible!). I am talking about the mom who tells her kids to say she isn't home when someone calls she doesn't want to talk to, and the couple that cheats on their taxes.
I am talking about you...and me.
You see, if we can't walk uprightly in our homes then everything else, and I mean EVERYTHING else, is meaningless. Our kids are learning from us all the time. We have no greater ministry than the one that noone but our family sees. You know me, I have strong opinions. I am so tired of hearing about leaders that * sacrifice* for God. Sir/ma'am...the last time I read the Bible, and I believe it still says it, that leaders especially are to have their families in order. If you are divorced, if you children are unruly then you are to resolve your issues before you take up leadership.
I know, if we did the unruly kids thing 90 percent of those in leadership would have to step down...sigh.
Our lives are to be Spirit led. When we give everything to the Lord things may not always be easy but there will always be integrity, consistency, fairness, and honesty.
I hate fake flowers. I especially hate fake flower arrangements at the altar. I feel that when someone comes to seek the Lord at the altar there should be nothing fake there. Nothing. It is the same with the Christian. When someone seeks you out for counsel, for prayer, for fellowship, they should find something REAL. Cotton candy Christianity is worthless. You know how you take a big mouthful of cotton candy and it totally disappears? All you are left with is the calories! Be real, whatever the cost. Walk uprightly in your house. As we set those examples for our kids then they have the knowledge that God is real. If we are full of duplicity then what does that teach them about God? I mean besides the fact that He is longsuffering?
Look at who you really are today. God already knows.
Lord, help us to walk uprightly in our homes. Help us to walk in integrity with our children and spouses, and others around us. Let us be consistent and show us the flaws in us that lead us into a life of duplicity. If there is anything in our homes that You dislike take them out Lord, show us so we can tear down the unholy places.
Amen

Psalm 100

2007-10-05T05:27:00.001-07:00

1 A psalm of thanksgiving.
Shout with joy to the LORD, O earth!
2 Worship the LORD with gladness. Come before him, singing with joy.
3 Acknowledge that the LORD is God! He made us, and we are his. We are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and bless his name.
5 For the LORD is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation.

Counter Intelligence-How the Enemy Works

2007-10-04T04:54:00.000-07:00

It is really funny that I have been in Nehemiah because I found out last night at church that a couple of other people have been camping out there as well.
In today's reading, which encompasses Neh 5:1-7:4, I want to take a look at the anatomy of defeat. How does satan pull us down?
1. Financial Strain & Debt- Neh 5: 2 They were saying, "We have such large families. We need more money just so we can buy the food we need to survive." 3 Others said, "We have mortgaged our fields, vineyards, and homes to get food during the famine." 4 And others said, "We have already borrowed to the limit on our fields and vineyards to pay our taxes. I know there is alot of teaching out there about not getting into debt. And it is good teaching for the most part..but sometimes debt happens and it just can't be helped. Sometimes you get into debt. Here we see that the Jews lost focus on the rebuilding because they were distracted by debt. It wasn't their fault, they weren't going out nad getting their nails done, and buying oscar de la renta sandels or anything...they were just trying to survive in a hostile environment. Just like you and I are. They felt trapped and forced to do things they wouldn't normally do, compromising their beliefs..not for their comfort but for their survivial! Questions had to be rolling in their heads, where is God n this? Why is this happening? The answer of course was to cry out to God so they could be delivered.
2.Lies and threats 5 The fifth time, Sanballat's servant came with an open letter in his hand, 6 and this is what it said: "Geshem tells me that everywhere he goes he hears that you and the Jews are planning to rebel and that is why you are building the wall. According to his reports, you plan to be their king. 7 He also reports that you have appointed prophets to prophesy about you in Jerusalem, saying, 'Look! There is a king in Judah!' "You can be very sure that this report will get back to the king, so I suggest that you come and talk it over with me." All of that was a lie. It was produced soley to get Nehemiah distracted and away from what he was doing. The enemy does the same now, if anything he is more practiced at it. With insinuation and out right lies he will attempt to distract you through other people, through situations, through your own thoughts. You can't do this. This will never change. You are't saved. You aren't good enough to be a christian. You are a hypocrite. God has forgotten all about you. GOd loves others more than you, look how He blesses them...
These are some of the lies that are used against you every day. Not one of them is true. Not one. In fact, if you are being overwhelmed with them you are probably pretty close to your breakthrough.
3.Intimidation, to the point of sin They were hoping to intimidate me and make me sin by following his suggestion. Then they would be able to accuse and discredit me. There are times when, because of our circumstances, we are tempted to sin. Maybe it is a little lie to cover a financial situation, or cheating on taxes. Maybe it is being so overwhelmed that your mouth becomes a weapon of mass destruction. Maybe it is just being hurt to the point that you begin to pull away from those around you. Is that sin? Yep. Anytime the enemy can come to you and make you feel pressured to do something you shouldn't he will. Eat that piece of chooclate cake because you are stressed? Take a good size swig of bourbon? Grab that drug? Be where you shouldn't? Teenagers, this is often the lie the enemy uses on you to pressure you into sexual relationships. Intimidation. If I don't do a then b will happen.
The way Nehemiah dealt with each of these situations was to believe God. He knew Who his God was and what He could and would do. Standing on those promises became a lifestyle. Standing on those Truths and those promises is for every day. Not just the moments when someone says the right things and stirs up your emotions. Not just when you happen to see an obvious miracle! Trusting God is for every single moment of every single day no matter what. Maintaining the energy of a 9th grade cheerleader at tryouts is not what God is asking us to do. He asks us to be mature enough to walk consistently before Him. Consistently. Every day. No matter what it looks like..no matter what it feels like.
Some Christians act like the have been tazered. They seem to just follow along zombie-like until something stirs one of them up and then all of them get hyper. I have seen sheep do the same thing. They will all graze complacently until one gets a wild hair and off they will go, running in either terror, or joy,or just running because everyone else is.
That would be o.k., there is nothing wrong with being excited about God and what he is doing, except eventually they calm down. And repeat the complacency/hyperactivity cycle. That's not God. That my friends is spiritual masturbation.
Consistency. God is consistent. Let's reproduce that consistency of worship, that consistency of faith, that consistency of honor in our own lives. That is the mark of maturity.
Lord, help us to be consistent in our lives, our walks with You. Help us to understand how to serve You with whole hearts, to see the plans and ploys of the enemy and to respond to them Your way. Give us strength to be ourselves, to not follow the crowd but to be willing to live for you, even if that means that we swim upstream alot. Help us to lay down hurt and disappointment and continue to work where You have us until You move us on.
Amen

Charred, Cheap, and Chaffed.

2007-10-03T05:17:00.000-07:00

Nehemiah 4:2 saying in front of his friends and the Samarian army officers, "What does this bunch of poor, feeble Jews think they are doing? Do they think they can build the wall in a day if they offer enough sacrifices? Look at those charred stones they are pulling out of the rubbish and using again!"
The restoration of the house is going slowly. The work is overwhelming for me, and Marc is not able to much of it at the moment, and honestly, it isn't a priority to him. I on the other hand, have to put loose countertop back on when I am cleaning the kitchen, I deal with the gross cupboards...and well, other things. I want to see this house fully restored.
Much of it is being done with what I have to work with. Not always the items I need or want but just what is all ready here. So I guess I can identify with the Jews in trying to rebuild something, to restore something that seems such an overwhelming project and to do it with what is available, items that others might well throw out. Even the mocking of the enemy is similar!
This seems to be a time that God has called many of us to rebuild somethng. It may be a relationship, a ministry, whatever, but it seems that you have little to work with and the stuff you have is charred and nearly unusable. If God provided the material He will make sure it works.
The thing that stands out to me in this reading is the simple trust that the Jews had to just continue on, no matter what happened, no matter who helped or didn't help, no matter what battles they faced. They were tired, dirty, and mocked and yet they found the strength to keep on working. I admire that. I have trouble with that. I am not the world's most compassionate person (no! really?!) and there are times when I just want to flip off my fellow Christians and walk off. So many just don't get it. I get tired, and feel defeated, and then I lay down my sword, take off my clothes and am totally unprepared for what God wants me to do.
We need to learn from this chapter. Charred stones can rebuild a wall. Tired, worn out people can rebuild a wall, as long as we stay alert and don't lay our weapons down. God has given each of us something we believe in, something we thought, at one time anyway, was important. Hang on to it. He isn't done yet. If the stones are charred, just keep stacking them up. Noone wants to help? Just keep stacking. Being mocked? Just keep stacking. Wall a little wobbley? Just keep stacking.
Don;t forget that what God has called you to do he will enable you to do. You may find that that wobbly charred wall is turned to gold before your eyes. It is the water into wine principle. We do it because we are told, not because it makes sense! And what pours forth then is perfect in every way.
Lord, we confess to You our exhaustion, our disappointment, our frustration, and even our disbelief as we try to build with what we have. Lord it seems a huge task ..more than we can bear sometimes, and we are mocked day and night by the enemy. But Lord, we lift ourselves up to You and ask You to enable us to finish the work you have given us. Enable us to find the strength to lift one more stone, to swing the sword one more time, to do one more patrol. Help us remember it is for You, Lord, not for anyone else that we do these things. Thank You that our work is not in vain.
Amen.

Ivory Towers and Messy Hands

2007-10-02T05:15:00.000-07:00

Nehemiah 3:5 Next were the people from Tekoa, though their leaders refused to help.
I was not looking forward to this reading. I dislike reading the lists of people. Name after name, and really, who cares? I mean besides God?
It is hard for me to glean anything out of thoselists sometimes! But just as often the Holy Spirit surprises me with a slap to the side of my head....
So the reading this morning was on the rebuilding of the wall. And I was admittedly skimming through it when I read this verse.
Everyone was working on the wall. The leaders of hte people were working just as hard as everyone else. Well, that is except for the leaders from Tekoa. They seemed to be too busy.
I looked up Tekoa in the concordance and it means, stockade. I don;t believe any word in the Bible is coincidental, so what does this imply? The leaders were not idetifying witht he people or their problems. They were safe in their stockade, if you will, Ivory Towers, looking out over the people, satisfied in their esteemed position and not willing ot bear any discomfort for the good of the people.
I see that today. So much of the church leadership is so out of touch with the people, their troubles, their real issues. They want to hand out platitudes and quick fixes because the reality of walking along side someone is that you get splattered with their filth. When you hold someone's head when they throw up you often get some on you. ANd Jesus certainly got some on Him! Some leadership is so far removed from the reality of the people that they can't see the fact that the Ivory Tower has crumbled and their own families are falling apart. They must maintain the aura of perfection at all costs. We are in a denominational church for the first time in years and the pressure and church politics frustrates me all the time. Who cares what the handbook says?! Let's spend time with the Lord! WHo cares what that looks like? Ahem..:::Marye steps gingerly down from her soapbox and goes on:::::
But look at the people's reaction! They did not back down, or give up, or retreat! They worked alongside everyone else, completely without leadership. They just continued to do what needed to be done. They wanted the end result so badly they were willing to overcome their concerns and traditions and just go for it.
We are coming in to a season of change in the church. It just isn't about dressing up and heading out on Sunday mornings, screaming at your kids until you hit the church parking lot, pretending everything is o.k. and then heading home not speaking to your spouse because they said something that was upsetting. We are headed into a time of marketplace ministry. Jesus is ready for us to leave Tekoa and work alongside the people. Maybe some of our leaders will come along and work with us and maybe they won't. Ultimately that will not be an acceptable excuse to give to the Lord. You can minister where ever you are. You can use the internet to share encouragement, prophecy and teaching...you can smile at a cashier at the grocery store, you can pray for someone...Where ever you are, where ever God has placed you you have a responsibility to let Jesus use you in that spot. There is something you can do! Regardless of what the deacons are doing, regardless of what the elders are doing, regardless of what the pastor is doing even, you have a position to fulfill and God will accept no excuse as to why you didn't.
You are not responsible for what people think of you or your ministry. If you are not called to teach a sunday school class don't teach it. Step in to help for a time if God releases you to do that but do not take on someone else's ministry or how will you handle your own? That is when we experience burn out. Minister as the Lord has called you and allow others to step up to the plate in their callings, or not. i have finally learned this. I don't do much that is considered ministry at my church but so much of what I do noone knows about. That's o.k. God does know. Take your place at the wall, don't worship leadership. Honor them as leaders, because they deserve that, but don't stop working because they are not. Don't be weary in well doing but go on with God.
Lord, I ask that You make clear to each of us where we need to be working today. What we need to be doing for You, regardless of what others in our midst are doing. Don't allow us to hide in stockades but bring us forth to work, to build, to restore. Thank You that there is someone who needs me today and that You Lord, are providing me with all I need to minister to that person. You are awesome in my life. Father I ask that You would touch each of us with the understanding of who we are in You. Refresh leadership, revive them, restore them, encourage them today. Those that are walking in a postion instead of in a purpose Lord I ask You would pull them out.. Give each of us the strength to rebuild according to Your will. amen.

The Favor of God Is Active

2007-10-01T05:17:00.000-07:00

Nehemiah 2:18 Then I told them about how the gracious hand of God had been on me, and about my conversation with the king.They replied at once, "Good! Let's rebuild the wall!" So they began the good work.
Although God loves each of us immensely, His favor is not given to us just so our lives will run more smoothly and be easier. The Favor of God is to be active.
Active? Active...actively pursuing the goal that He has set before us, actively ministering, actively drawing others to Him.
Most people that I know want to stay at the bottom of the mountain, waiting while someone else goes on up and comes down with the Word from God. They would like to see miracles and amazements but don't want to get too close lest they get burned by a spark from the Fire of the Holy Spirit. The want the Favor of God on their lives but only as long as it causes them no discomfort, requires nothing of them, and isn't too scary. They come to church on Sundays and play Christian the rest of the week. I have spoken with them tons of times, usually they won't approach me until they need prayer, or a miracle, or a defining Word from God. Why? Because I am odd. And the Favor of God is active in my life.
God gave me this huge house. HUGE. It will be gorgeous someday. We procured it by the Favor of God. He has a plan for it besides us living here. I don't know what it is but i don't need to know..I am the caretaker, the decorator, the restorer. He is the owner.
Where is the Favor of God in your life? Where does it need to be actively appropriated? Where is there rubble that needs to be rebuilt? He says we can ask anything in His name and it will be given to us if we ask according to His Words, according to His plans, according to all He has given us, taught us, and brought us through to this point, and according to the vision He has given.
Moving in the favor of God is exhilarating. I can't understand why others wont go there.
Active. It is active. The Favor of God allows you to get what you need to do what He asks. Simple. It is not making bricks without straw, it is not praying for things that you have no need of. It is simply accepting that there is something only you can do, and allowing God to lead you in doing it.
Where are you seeing the favor of God in your life? How are you appropriating it?
Lord help us to rebuild the walls. Help us to use the copious outpouring of favor on our lives to move into what You are asking us to do. Help us to rebuild, to recreate, to manifest Your will in all we do. Encourage us today, that there is a point to our lives, a reason for being, and a Hope that will not fade. It is truly all because of You Lord.
Amen.

Show Mercy But Don't Get Your Clothes Dirty

2007-09-30T05:20:00.000-07:00

.Jude 1: 20 But you, dear friends, must continue to build your lives on the foundation of your holy faith. And continue to pray as you are directed by the Holy Spirit. 21 Live in such a way that God's love can bless you as you wait for the eternal life that our Lord Jesus Christ in his mercy is going to give you. 22 Show mercy to those whose faith is wavering. 23 Rescue others by snatching them from the flames of judgment. There are still others to whom you need to show mercy, but be careful that you aren't contaminated by their sins.

Mercy. It is such a part of WHo God is and it must be part of who we are as well. I see so many in the church today that struggle on one side or the other of mercy. Some show none. Everything is cut and dried and sin is sin is sin...Even after repentance the *sinner* has a a stigma of some sort. Then there is the other crowd that mollycoddles sin in such a way that the sinner never has to come out of it..sometimes he even drags the christian down into it with him.
This should not be. There IS a place for sin in the church today. The altar of God. If someone is not willing to bring their sin to the altar, if they want to continue to play with it after it has been exposed to them then these people need prayer but not mercy. I have seen couples that live together outside of marriage in the church and the attitude becomes one of complacency amoung the members...Oh, they are a sweet couple! They just need to get right with God..eventually.
What if they don't have eventually? What if on the way home from church they are killed in a wreck? Whose hands will their blood be on? Complacency is rampant in the church and it is because of things like this. SHow mercy, show love..but do not allow the sin to contaminate you. Be firm.
Mercy does not overlook sin , it loves in spite of it.
Lord,be with each one today as we celebrate Your rest. Not that we don't have it all the time but for most of us today is a day set apart to You. Help us Lord to understand how to be merciful without being complacent. Show us how to love without pandering or pampering. Be our discernment and give us the ability to walk lovingly in You as we deal with those around us. Give us the courage to lovingly confront. Amen.Allow us to change our churches and the loves around us today by Your annointing.

The Favor of God 2

2007-09-29T05:29:00.000-07:00

Ezra7:6 This Ezra was a scribe, well versed in the law of Moses, which the LORD, the God of Israel, had given to the people of Israel. He came up to Jerusalem from Babylon, and the king gave him everything he asked for, because the gracious hand of the LORD his God was on him.

I just can't get away from the favor of God!
The other day, while we were at the VA several things happened to remind me that God had pronounced favor over my life. I seem to go through periods of timewhere I forget that it is so.
AT the VA parking is often difficult to find. That day they were doing flu shots and after I dropped MArc and his wheelchair off at the door I spent a good bit of time checking the various parking lots. None. There was literally not one space. Even in the obscure overflow parking there was nothing. I had been driving and looking for over 20 minutes! It was close tot he time for Marc's appointment and i wanted ot be in there ot hear what was said.
I finally said Lord, I really need a space, could you just give one to me, please?
I had almost not finished speaking when a space literally appeared before my eyes. Right in front of the van! Had it not been right in front of me I would not have gotten it because others were looking frantically for spaces as well.
I found my way to MArc's clinic but knew I was going to have trouble finding the parking lot again. It was in an area that I was unfamiliar with, off the basement of the hospital.
When it came time to leave I led MArc hesitantly through hallways that looked right but were not. All of a sudden one of the janitors looked at me and said, are you looking ofr something?
WHen I explained what had happened he literally left his work and led us to the exact door I was looking for event hough it meant him leaving his cart, taking us down long hallways and finally down an elevator.
That just does not happen. It was the favor of God.
The problem with us is that we forget to expect His favor on our lives. We start grumbling before God even has a chance to extend favor and I guess it sends the ministering spirits running for cover because once we start complaining I think that we are out of luck.
I have been trying ot remind myself that I have the favor of God on my life. That His favor rests so significantly on me that my needs are taken care of almost effortlessly.I try to remind myself to expect it. We draw to ourselves what we expect to draw to ourselves.
Because of the favor of God Ezra was given everything he needed. Everything. Because of hte favor of God they returned to the temple from Babylon without need of an army for protection. Because of hte favor of God the temple of refurnished. And the Word says that Ezra had the favor of God because This was because Ezra had determined to study and obey the law of the LORD and to teach those laws and regulations to the people of Israel.
When God comes first everything else follows. Everything falls into place. We just connect the dots.
Lord thank you for Your favor on my life and the lives of those readng this today. COntinue to work in us and on us, through us in all things. Help us to be patient and allow You to move us from glory to glory rather than trying to move ourselves. Let Your favor be one of our landmarks. Appropriate Your favor Lord to those reading today. Like Boaz, leave us handfuls on purpose. Encourage those that are preparing teachings for tomorrow, make their words rich with Your annointing. Let Your Word go forth and not come back void,a nd cause it to be a hammer that breaks the rocks of our hardened hearts.
Amen.

The Favor of God

2007-09-28T05:47:00.000-07:00

I SO over slept this morning..I have many thoughts..I just hope I can get them down before I have to get MArc to work.

Ezra 6: 22 They ate the Passover meal and celebrated the Festival of Unleavened Bread for seven days. There was great joy throughout the land because the LORD had changed the attitude of the king of Assyria toward them, so that he helped them to rebuild the Temple of God, the God of Israel.

There have been so many times that I have been frustrated with someone's attitude towards me. I am one of those people that people usually really like....or really don't. I have become so used to the latter that I often expect it. i have learned over the years that God wants me to continue in my call whether or not others accept me as I am, and whether or not others are comfortable with my presence.
Yet I need to remember that God changes the attitudes of man. The favor of God on your life over rides other people's thoughts about you. The favor of God on your life creates a desire in others to help you, to encourage you, to have compassion on you.
Fear of man is a dangerous thing. Most of us have it in one form or another and most of us don't recognize it or deny that it exists. The desire to look important, to not stand out unnecessarily, the fear that we will be rejected....shyness, aloofness, the need to have the right clothes...the need to succeed...
Being concerned with these things is merely badly masked self-worship. It may look like something else but the truth is that when we are more concerned with what others are thinking that what God is thinking we are turning ourselves into idols. God desires us to focus in Him, allow Him to open the doors, allow Him to grade our performance so to speak, allow Him to decide the worth of what we are doing..and when we need someone to be on our side He can do that too.
For a long time i have forgotten that my God opens doors and closes doors for me. SOmewhere I got the idea that I had to be a spiritual feminist and open my own doors. When Marc and I started dating he did not open doors. He would walk in somewhere talking to me and allow the door to close behind him. Thre he'd be walking down a corridor, talking to himself while I patiently waited on the other side of hte closed door. He finally learned to open them, our sons ALL open doors for women, and I rarely am left on my own on the exterior of a building anymore!
From today on if God does not open the door I will not push on it. I will not bang on it, press my nose against it, or watch people through it. If God doesn't open the door I will not concern myself with it until He does.
Yesterday when I picked Marc up at work something odd happened. There was a gush of water that splattered the windshield of the van and the van itself but I did not see where it came from. I was in the store parking lot, no sprinklers in sight, and it didn't seem to be raining. The drops were still fresh on the car when MZrc got in...but there was not any water or water drops anywhere else.
Can God single us out? Certainly He can. The rain may indeed fall on the unrighteous and the righteous alike but He has the ability to make it fall only where He wants. The entire country could be in drought and your vegetable garden recieve rain...there could be a tornado that flattens every house on the block but yours.. The favor of a Holy God on your life is without measure.
If htere is some one in your life that has a bad attitude about you God can change that. If He does not maybe there is something you need to learn from it, a strengthening, a compassion, the ability to love the unloveable. Allow Him to show you your response and move forward through the doors He opens.
Lord I ask that today you help us to love those that persecute us, even as You did. Help us not to respond in kind but to be encouraging and careful with our words. Give us favor with those that we need favor with and walk with us in all our delaings today. Glorify Yourself in all things in my life, and use me as You want. FOr those reading Lord, encourage them, love them, speak to them with Your love and passion for them. Give them renewed strength to go on with You.
Amen.

Jesus on a Harley

2007-09-27T05:16:00.000-07:00

Ezra 4:21 Therefore, issue orders to have these people stop their work. That city must not be rebuilt except at my express command. 22 Do not delay, for we must not permit the situation to get out of control."

Anytime God begins to move, to really move, in a situation, you can expect resistance by those who don't want to see things get out of control. Most church bodies are too comfortable with controlled doses of the Holy Spirit. They tiptoe up to a fire hydrant and open it just enough that it begins to drip water and then they hold their small dixie cups underneath and *look like* they are waiting patiently for them to be filled.
In reality they are controlling the amount of God they allow in their lives. Thos little drips aren't enough to keep them moving in the things of God..They aren't enough to allow them to be refreshed enough that they can run and not grow weary! They are only enough to make them think they are not thirsty.
WHen I walk up to that fire hydrant I am anticipating. I am hoping. I am wanting that thing to hit me with enough force to knock me on my backside and I am gonna open my mouth wide so He can fill it!
A controlled move of the Holy Spirit is no move of the Holy Spirit. How in the world people can abandon themselves to a sale at their favorite store, or a stupid t.v. show, or some idiotic sports thing...anticipating it, cheering, looking absolutely stupid in their lack of self control...
I mean have you ever been at a day after Thanksgiving sale? You take your life in your hands! Little old ladies are tripping you up with their canes to grab the last cabbage patch doll or whatever. Football games? People yell uncontrollably..and I mean, I am sorry..I know I am lame..but...football? Who cares? What lasting benefit does the fact that some team in white beat some team in blue? They have no problem being uncontrolled..but we must control the church service or...you know.
No, I don't. Tell me.
I know that God brought barrenness to David's wife, Michal, because she was embarrassed by her husband's lack of control when the Ark was brought back. I don;t want bareness in my soul.
If God wants to move, if He wants to manifest in a bolt of lightening and crack an altar, if He wants a church service to last all afternoon, or a revival to go on indefinitely I am THERE! I don't want to be content at the foot of the mountain when I can be at the top looking at everything with clarity and giddy from the lack of oxygen at that altitude!
We re having revival at church this week. I have prayed for this thing for 2 years. AT least! last year it was a pretty dead revival. Every time the Spirit started to move someone grabbed the butterfly net and controlled that thing. But this year? God will not be controlled. He rode into our church this week like James Dean on a Harley, leathered, tattooed, and ready to stir up some stuff! And that is the God I love passionately. You can have your insipid controlled god. I want one that makes my heart beat faster and my spirit soar.
And I am not ready to let Him slip away, or be trimmed, polished, and set on a shelf.I prayed that this revival would be extended. Last night they extended it. I am praying it go on..and on..past Sunday. Until everyone who is wanting God to be controlled is either transformed or gone.
You see, the Holy Spirit gives us chances. SOmetimes many chances. If we aren't accepting of something He is doing either He will stop or move us somewhere where we will be comfortable. Being a prophet I don't always move in the gift of compassion and so usually I am a bit like Jonah, disgusted and ready for God to get His smiting tool out. Sometimes He does move people on. Honestly, in this case at our church I am expecting some sifting to happen. It's o.k....Joshua only needed a small percentage of his army...a small percentage that was passionate!
Are you one of the ones that likes control? Do you like God to be predictable, easy to figure out, scheduled?
Let me ask you, if you can control Him, is He really God?
Who are you kidding? Some of you can't control your own kids! Accept the wild, uncontrolled God in your life. Allow Him to make you laugh, and cry, and believe, and dream, and have passion. Let Him change things up. Add some chipotle to that vanilla cake you have been eating.
And pastors, leaders...I am praying God brings you here today. I am praying you read this with an open heart. Hear the Lord in what I am saying..Be yourself. God created you uniquely to lead your flock. He created you to be a certain way, maybe not smooth, or maybe not eloquent, but perfect for those He has put in your care. They need what you have, not what the pastor on t.v has, or the pastor down the street has...your unique gifts are exactly what your church needs. And if it is of God, well, people re going to try to control it.
I will tell you something else. Intellect is a dangerous thing. We worship the intellectuals. Those who seem to have great abilities to reason and think. What they say seems wise to us. I am thinking of someone in particular who comes across as having great wisdom and knowledge but in reality they are only intelligent and that doesn't count for much in the long term. I have an above genius level IQ. My husband has an IQ that is higher than mine. Each one of my kids is literally brilliant. I count that for nothing if it causes me to analyze the Holy Spirit to the point of control. It is one of those people i have little compassion for..and yet the people around me treat them with more respect and honor than they do God. Sad.
Thank God He has not let me play with His smiting tool.
Lord, help us to accept You in all Your forms. Be out of control. Sweep us off our feet, Lord. Change us so we can understand You in a new way, at a new level. Ride Your Harley up the church steps, graffiti the walls (You have done it before, in Daniel's time) , whatever it takes Lord but set the captives free from control! Free us to be the individuals that we are. Help us to move in our areas of influence and bring ordered chaos to everythign we touch. FOr each pasotr or person in leadership or ministry here Lord, increase their confidence in being just who they are. Help them to withstand the criticism without feeling hte need to bow to it. Lift htem up Lord! Strengthen their legs to stand. Let us be a wild bunch Lord, for You.

Restoration

2007-09-26T05:32:00.000-07:00

Ezra 1:7 King Cyrus himself brought out the valuable items which King Nebuchadnezzar had taken from the LORD's Temple in Jerusalem and had placed in the temple of his own gods.
So many times as I go over the past few years in my mind I am filled with thoughts of what the enemy has taken away. Finances that have seemed to float away like dandelion puff, friends that drifted, aspects of my relationships that I suddenly realize are gone, Sometimes I walk into the temple of my soul, and my voice echoes as I pray. The stuff is gone.
God is the Lord over stolen stuff. Everything in the earth and out of it is under his feet, even our stuff. When the time comes, if it is really valuable, it will be restored.
In reading this chapter we see that not only was the stuff restored but it was increased. Cyrus told the people to enable the Jews to return to their land by giving them silver and gold. Then he returned everything that had beent aken fromt he temple in the generations before.
Not only is our stuff rightfully ours, not only does God give us extra to enable us to go on with His plans but He allows us to have that which has been taken from our ancestors as well.
ASk Him for those things which are rightfully yours today, and don't hold back. He will make a way for the restoration in your life, and in mine. DOn't accept less than what He wants you to have. There is not one scripture that talks about Jesus getting angry with someone for praying. He is the one that told us to ask, to seek and to knock. Without ceasing.
Lord I ask You for the restoration to day. The restoration of relationships, of finances, of health, and of spiritual, emotional and physical wholeness. I ask that You return to each of us what the enemy has taken and allow us to rebuild the temples in our lives, the things that glorify You. Restore giftings, Lord, and abilities. Resore purity and joy. Restore finances and jobs, and lead us to where we need to be.
Restore peace in homes,and hearts. Bring us back to the intensity of our passion for You.
Thank you Lord, for you watchfulness over each of us today. Amen

Tempis Fugit

2007-09-25T05:15:00.001-07:00

Psalm 90:12 Teach us to make the most of our time, so that we may grow in wisdom.

Too many times I get to the end of a long day and realize that I have not really accomplished anything worthwhile. It frustrates me that too often I spend too much time on the computer, or in other pursuits and not enough time with my children who are rapidly growing up. I find myself in the *one long day* mindset, where I seem to think that life will continue unchanging and at some point I will be caught up with my work and have time to enjoy my children.
A few days ago God spoke about knowing the condition of our flocks and herds but today I think He asks us about our own condition. I keep a priority list but maybe it could be simplified to:
God
Family
stuff

Putting God first in my day is a necessity. Seeking Him first thing, hearing His Word to me, these things are integral parts of my day. It has been days since I read Kyrie a story, or played a game with Ethan, or watched t.v with the kids...I am losing sight of how fast things change.
Today, I will change that. I will keep time in mind and I will let something go in order to spend quality time with my herds and flocks. The learn about God through learning about me and I don't want to be the one that teaches them something untrue.

Lord, help us order our days in such a way as to be pleasing to you. Help us to realize the importance of hte time and use it wisely, not in activity but in relationship with You and those around us. Give us wisdom Lord, because You proise to give wisdom to all who ask.
Amen

Tenacity in Trial

2007-09-24T05:31:00.000-07:00

This is from psalm 88

38 But now you have rejected him. Why are you so angry with the one you chose as king? 39 You have renounced your covenant with him, for you have thrown his crown in the dust. 40 You have broken down the walls protecting him and laid in ruins every fort defending him. 41 Everyone who comes along has robbed him while his neighbors mock. 42 You have strengthened his enemies against him and made them all rejoice. 43 You have made his sword useless and have refused to help him in battle. 44 You have ended his splendor and overturned his throne. 45 You have made him old before his time and publicly disgraced him. Interlude 46 O LORD, how long will this go on? Will you hide yourself forever? How long will your anger burn like fire? 47 Remember how short my life is, how empty and futile this human existence! 48 No one can live forever; all will die. No one can escape the power of the grave. Interlude 49 Lord, where is your unfailing love? You promised it to David with a faithful pledge. 50 Consider, Lord, how your servants are disgraced! I carry in my heart the insults of so many people. 51 Your enemies have mocked me, O LORD; they mock the one you anointed as king. 52 Blessed be the LORD forever! Amen and amen!

David was struggling. I can so identify with so much of what he was saying. We all have times when it seems like no where we turn is a place of comfort but we are surrounded by animosity. Sometimes the battle gets so heavy that we lose sight of the Presence of the Lord in the dust and smoke of it. I think this happens to all of us. In reading this psalm I know it happened to David!
To say that you are overwhelmed is not unspiritual, and to be downcast is not a sin. It happens. Jesus was downcast before Golgotha, and who could blame Him?
We need to accept that there will be times of hardship in our lives when we feel all alone, when we are nearly overcome with the struggle. It is in those places that we can cry out to the Lord, outlining our struggle, our pain and loneliness and know that He is aware. And we can end up with Praise to His Name because we know, that altho the battle rages, He is still in control and we STILL ultimately are victorious in Him.
Emotions are emotions..We have them, God created them. But they are not to rule us. Acknowledge your pain, accept that it is part of this moment and choose to praise God through it, knowing that He will bring you out of the battle at just the right time, victorious.
Father I pray for myself and those reading, Lord, that they may know You in Your glory, in Your identity as our Strength, our Protector, our Strong Tower. Helpe ach of us to accept our emotions and feelings and praise you in the midst of it all, as David did.
Bring us out victoriously God, to You glory.
Amen

Neglecting the Flocks and Herds

2007-09-23T07:34:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 27:23, “Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds.”

This one small Proverb spoke volumes to me this morning.
How many times in my own life have I been taken unawares by one of my children, whom I thought was doing well, falling into sin or battling with emotions? Too many to count. I have been lax in knowing and giving careful attention to my flock and herd!
God watches over us with careful consideration. He knows everything that happens in our hearts and minds..He knows the battles we struggle with. He knows.
Too often I am distracted when dealing with my family. I am writing, or cooking, or whatever, and I am not giving careful attention to them. I noticed this last week when , seemingly out of nowhere, Matt was struggling with a black depression. Looking back on the last few months I can see it. Since Marc got sick Matt has been trying to be my right hand. Instead of the constant encouragement and appreciation he should have been getting I corrected him when he overstepped his authority. That correction was unbalanced in that he was not receiving the *good* stuff. OI took him with me to run errands on my errand day and he was able to lay down the things that had been troubling him and i was able to assess what he needed. More fishing time for him, now one of his daily assignments is an hour at the creek!
As women we have an inborn ability to assess our families. I believe God gave us this discernment so that we could intercede and cut off the enemy before he gained a foothold. But life is so complicated now that it is nearly impossible to do these things with out a conscious effort.
God doesn't let us off the hook. We are called to know and assess. That is a priority. There is nowhere in the Bible that tells us to cook three meals a day or clean toilets but there is the call to KNOW and to ASSESS. In doing so we become more efficient intercessors, organized in our prayer time, ahead of the game.
Lord I repent for neglecting my herds and flocks and for allowing htem to become unhealthy and unkempt while I micromanaged less important details! FAther forgive me and help me to have the discernment and direction I need to step in and manage well, to focus on the important things, my family. Lord for each one who reads this, have mercy on us for our mistakes and neglect. Pour Your Spirit into us and help us to intercede more effectively in all things.
Amen.

Standing on His Reputation

2007-09-22T07:07:00.000-07:00

Psalm 89:
15 Happy are those who hear the joyful call to worship, for they will walk in the light of your presence, LORD. 16 They rejoice all day long in your wonderful reputation. They exult in your righteousness. 17 You are their glorious strength. Our power is based on your favor. 18 Yes, our protection comes from the LORD, and he, the Holy One of Israel, has given us our king.

Walking in the light of God's Presence is what we, as christians, are called to daily. It isn't something that comes from doing things but from relationship with Him. It is that relationship that enables us to know Him more deeply, understand more and more WHo He is, and become confident in our position as child of God.
Notice that we rejoice in His reputation. It does not say, They rejoice all day long in the miracles He constantly does for them. Nope. We need to keep our minds set on Who He is by what He has done, not necessarily what we are seeing at any given moment.
Yesterday was hard. I woke up weepy. I was dealing with frustrating situations by 9 a.m. and the day went downhill from there. I felt that I could not take anymore, that I just needed out of this whole thing, whatever the cost. I figured that if I got through the day without grabbing one of Marc's guns OR without taking off to parts unknown I was doing good. I am just being honest here. I was struggling. Yet, I kept reminding myself of God's reputation. He has never brought me into a situation and left me there. He has never let me down no matter what my circumstances looked like. By last night all of the things that had seemed so impossible yesterday morning were either dealt with or I had grace. I have the strength to continue, because I know His reputation even when I am not seeing a manifestation of it.
He is my glorious strength. I get tired when I am trying to figure it out, do it my way. I get beat up and smacked down. But when I allow Him to be in control a path opens miraculously through the Red Sea of trouble and impossibility. Amazing things happen because I have the favor of God on my life. Noone can do anything ot me that He has not allowed for a purpose and a reason. Maybe I don't understand but I am more protected than if I was famous and had secret agents following me around.
Sometimes I throw off that protection by unbelief. I run off, dodging here and there until I am out of sight (I think) and then I run into trouble and have to cry out for Him to come gt me...again.
Lord thank You for the favor of God on my life. It is through You and only You that I recieve it, not in and of anything i have done or ever could do. You are my righteousness, and I walk in the light of Your Presence. Lead me throught he darkness today, grant me favor with all those that I come in contact with, be my glorious strength in all things, because You are my King. For those reading Lord, grant an understanding of Who You are in their circumstance. SHow Yourself strong on their behalf. Shine a light in the darkest area of their hearts and heal the calloused and tender places. Deep wounds. Unfogiveness, discontent, spiritual dismay...all of it Lord. Make me the woman You have planned for me to be.
Amen.

When Pain Seems Overwhelming

2007-09-21T05:12:00.000-07:00

Psalm 88
1 God, you're my last chance of the day. I spend the night on my knees before you. 2 Put me on your salvation agenda; take notes on the trouble I'm in. 3 I've had my fill of trouble; I'm camped on the edge of hell. 4 I'm written off as a lost cause, one more statistic, a hopeless case. 5 Abandoned as already dead, one more body in a stack of corpses, And not so much as a gravestone - I'm a black hole in oblivion. 6 You've dropped me into a bottomless pit, sunk me in a pitch-black abyss. 7 I'm battered senseless by your rage, relentlessly pounded by your waves of anger. 8 You turned my friends against me, made me horrible to them. I'm caught in a maze and can't find my way out, 9 blinded by tears of pain and frustration. I call to you, God; all day I call. I wring my hands, I plead for help.

10 Are the dead a live audience for your miracles? Do ghosts ever join the choirs that praise you? 11 Does your love make any difference in a graveyard? Is your faithful presence noticed in the corridors of hell? 12 Are your marvelous wonders ever seen in the dark, your righteous ways noticed in the Land of No Memory? 13 I'm standing my ground, God, shouting for help, at my prayers every morning, on my knees each daybreak. 14 Why, God, do you turn a deaf ear? Why do you make yourself scarce? 15 For as long as I remember I've been hurting; I've taken the worst you can hand out, and I've had it. 16 Your wildfire anger has blazed through my life; I'm bleeding, black and blue. 17 You've attacked me fiercely from every side, raining down blows till I'm nearly dead. 18 You made lover and neighbor alike dump me; the only friend I have left is Darkness.

Ever feel like this? I have. Apparently David did. And guess what? It is o.k..
See, alot of Christians seem to think that if you have difficulty, if you are struggling, or sad..or even if you feel like God has forgotten you that you have somehow turned away from God and become......::somber voice:::: *unspiritual*.
Did you here scary music when you read that word?
It's not unspiritual to be real it's unspiritual to pretend that life is just peachy. Too many times we admire Christians that seem so strong and able to withstand huge difficulties and in doing so we completely miss the point. Christ is with us IN our troubles, having them, even feeling bowed down by them, is no sin. Pretending they don't exist or somehow we are spiritual enough to stand (when we aren't)...well that IS sin.
When we realize that we cannot stand under the onslaught of the enemy and call out to Jesus to stand with us things may not automatically get better. Maybe they will get worse! But in that we learn to trust that, like child birth, something good is happening despite the pain.

Lord I as you to be with me today as I walk through all of it. I ask that you would go before me in each situation and make my paths straight. Give me grace and wisdom, discernment and compassion for each moment, Lord, and help me to make you proud of me at days end.
For those reading,a s well as myself, You know our needs, our hopes, our plans, our innermost thoughts. Thank You that You think of us at all times, we are engraved in the palms of Your hands and You know the plans You have for us. Thank you, Lord, that our needs are met before we even ask.
Amen

Sept 19 Coming Unprepared

2007-09-19T05:01:00.000-07:00

2CHron30:18 Most of those who came from Ephraim, Manasseh, Issachar, and Zebulun had not purified themselves. But King Hezekiah prayed for them, and they were allowed to eat the Passover meal anyway, even though this was contrary to God's laws. For Hezekiah said, "May the LORD, who is good, pardon those 19 who decide to follow the LORD, the God of their ancestors, even though they are not properly cleansed for the ceremony." 20 And the LORD listened to Hezekiah's prayer and healed the people.

Legalism will keep you away from God. Complacency happens the minute that you start thinking you can't go to church because you didn't have time to take a shower, or your clothes aren't right or you are caught deep in some sin that you know God hates but you are powerless to overcome. At that split second a decision is made. Believe God desires your heart above all and go, or believe that you must fulfill some set of rules, which will it be? Many of us will lean toward the rules and miss out on a real understanding of God's love, mercy, and care for us.Micah 6:8 says this,He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
That seems pretty simple. Is that really all God asks? What about being at church early to help set up? Reading your Bible every day? Prayer?
If you love mercy you will begin to understand that, while many things are important, they are products of who we are in Him. We are not always going to have the right clothes, the right emotions, or the right words but we can always have the right attitude.
Trust in His love means trusting His ability to overlook the imperfections in our lives as we grow in maturity in Him. I have come to realize that prayer that lasts for 2 minutes daily is better than prayer that lasts one hour once a week. Today, rather than ask yourself how you are doing as a Christian, ask yourself how God is doing as a God. Respond to Him out of Who He IS, rather than who you are. Worship Him out of the knowledge of His love for you rather than out of the desire to get the list done today.
Lay it down. It is too heavy for you anyway.

Lord I pray, father that I will begin to view You in the context of Who You are rather than who I should be. I ask that You will touch me today, lead me, carry me..because I do not want to take a step without you. Take me only those places you want me to go, use circumstances and whispers to keep me fromt he places I should not be. Rearrange my schedule to reflect Your plans for me..because I know the plans I have for you says te Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans ot give you hope and a future.... Where I am unprepared for what You have for me, unprepared to minister, worship, or whatever, I ask that You would have mercy on me and allow me access to Your plans anyway. Be the breath of my life today Lord, in everyway. Thank you that all of my needs are met in you.
Father on that note, I pray for anyone reading this..that You will touch them with the understanding of how great it Your love. That they would accept Your plan, Your schedule, Your priority in their lives and not feel unworthy because of their failings. Remind them of Your lovingkindness and mercy. You are not a God that needs anything at all but rather a God that desires Truth in the inmost parts..not just the truth we say but the Truth we believe.
Amen.

Sept 18 What is Truth?

2007-09-18T04:55:00.000-07:00

THis is what Pilate asks of the Jews in JOhn 18:38
What is truth?
You see, the world, while it denies the Truth, is desperately searching for Truth. It reminds me of one of my kids that would bring me the paddle before he did something wrong, knowing he would get disciplined for the act. There is insecurity in the lack of truth in our lives and so with Pilate. He was faced with Truth and he refused to make a choice, prefering to leave the outcome in the hands of other people.
Christians are not called to that. We are not to be reactors we are to be responders. What is our response to the Truth? What is my reponse to the Truth? It must always be to embrace the Truth and move ahead whatever the cost. For Pilate it would have meant losing his enviable position...and yet he would have gained his soul.
There is a situation today that I am confused about. In some ways I am standing by and allowing Truth to be brushed off. I am afraid of the ramifications of speaking up, I really don't have a clue what to say. But I am seeking the Lord and I am willing ot lose whatever miniscule postition or respect I have, if need be, to stand on the side of Christ. Not because I am strong, or great or full of myself but because there is a right and wrong, black and white, truth and Truth.
In 2 Chronicles 29:5 Hezzikiah called to the Levites and said this,""Listen to me, you Levites! Purify yourselves, and purify the Temple of the LORD, the God of your ancestors. Remove all the defiled things from the sanctuary..."
There is a time. There is a specified time when you must step out and encourage those around you to step out as well. To clean the sanctuary, to remove the defiled things that have been allowed to stack up, take over and take root there. If you are Christian and you are reading these words, I say the same to you. Purify yourself, purify the temple of hte Lord, and remove the defiled things from the sanctuary.
Lord, show me what is defiled. SHow me what needs to be removed.NOt the things that my peers might think but those things which You see in my life that bother you. Father I lay my life, my possessions, my time, my thoughts, my hopes, dreams and desires down this morning and ask you to go through them and toss those things that you find repugnant. Create in me a pure heart o Lord and renew a staeadfast spirit within me. and within the hearts of those that read these words, help them draw closer to you in every way.
amen

Consistency in My Walk

2007-09-17T03:53:00.000-07:00

John 18:19-38
vs 28- Jesus' trial before Caiaphas ended in the early hours of the morning. Then he was taken to the headquarters of the Roman governor. His accusers didn't go in themselves because it would defile them, and they wouldn't be allowed to celebrate the Passover feast.

You know, here are people who have trumped up charges against Jesus, who are calling for the blood of an innocent man, who are going along with the crowd, and yet they are observing the most minute detail of the law as if that was going to keep them righteous.
I read that, and I think, Lord, that is so stupid, and then I walk away and do the very same things. ow many times have I grieved the Holy Spirit, only to come back and make sure that I knocked out my Bible reading for that day..or haw many times have I yelled at the kids as we were rushing around trying to get to church, if not on time, at least before the end of praise an worship?
I desperately want to be consistent all the way through. I don't want anyone to look at me and see inconsistency in my walk, least of all my children.
Later in today's reading (I use Crosswalk, read through the Bible in a year) I read about the Kings of Israel, 2 Chronicles 27-28, about Jotham. It says he did what what pleasing to the Lord, as his father Uzziah had done but unlike Uzziah, he did not enter the temple of the Lord...His son was Ahaz, who was an ungodly man.
Inconsistency in our lives. Our kids pick up on it. If Jotham had gone to church would Ahaz turned out differently? We can be godly, we can do all the right things and still our lives can be out of order because of inconsistency.
Lord,
Please help me be consistent in all I do today. Help my life to reflect Your consistency to those I come in contact with today, most of all my family. Help my life be all that You want it to be, all that You planned for it to be, all that it can be when I am consistent in my walk with you. Forgive my unbelief Lord, and strengthen me to believe even more. Thank You that You carry me, not just daily but moment to moment so I have the assurance that my feet will not slip. Lord direct anyone that needs to read this to this page today and encourage them, draw them closer to yourself, and provide for their every need, in Jesus' name I pray. Amen

still here

2007-08-22T12:42:00.000-07:00

I am in the slough of despond. I realize everythign that the Lord said to me in January is coming to pass..it should not be unexpected ..but it is so unexpected. It hurts. but then, growth does. I plan on starting a study and blogging it here soon...so check back.

A Word form SUnday...

2007-06-05T12:19:00.000-07:00

I am just going to share this..there are other things I want to say..but they can wait..I am struggling to understand this new place I am in...and sturggling to open ,my eyes so I can see all of it..anyway...

....As always check this Word with the Holy Spirit.
If you will recall the Holy Spirit spoke to me in January saying this would be a season of suddenlies. That there would be massive rains, high winds, and storms in the Spirit and in the material world..and we have seen those things. On our property alone we have lost enough old trees that we will have firewood for a long time to come.
This morning, as I was getting ready to milk, one of these *suddenly * storms blew up and I mentioned to Shiloh (11) that we would wait at home until it passed to make sure our animals were o.k. It was very unlike her but she pitched a royal fit like only an 11 year old girl can and ranted about her need to be at church.
I felt the Holy Spirit begin to speak to me and I went upstairs so I could listen...
Thus says the Lord. I have loved you, you have been my people. I have heard your prayers, I have received your worship yet this I have against you. You have tolerated mediocrity and compromise in your midst, even from yourselves have you tolerated it. You have allowed cold love to be rampant in my church. It is now, as in the days of Noah. I have said "Go forth!" and you have said, "but I am worshipping. " I have said, "Go forth!" but you have said, "I am serving". I have said, "Go forth!" but you have said, "I am teaching..or learning..or praying."
My people, my children whom I love, what army is led by a Commander that can be ignored? What child tells his father that his play is more important than the Father's instruction?
I desire the sacrifice of obedience in my church today. You come and sing, you play music with skill but your hearts are on your own agenda! Your minds are full of what you will do for me rather than what you can hear from me.
As in the days of Noah I have said, "Go forth and do!" and you have been caught up in your own things, your own plans, your own services. It has begun to rain, and your children splash in the puddles and you cry out to me, "Lord! Stop the rain!" as if you had never heard me say that there would be rain.
There is a storm coming, says the Lord, a storm that will fell large trees. In the next three months you will see large trees that looked healthy and strong, topple...Yes, you will see them topple in the suddenly storms, you will see them topple like in the 1980's because when the floods came they did not put down roots. When the floods came they did not use the force of the current to strengthen their core..They allowed the pests that were eating away at the insides to continue, they allowed their roots to stay shallow and suck up the easy water..They saw no need to dig deeper. They were big trees and they have cast big shade but now says the Lord they will make a big noise when they fall. The earth will shake as they fall and you will cry out because I did not catch them.
Do not be decieved, I will not be mocked. You have valued propriety over transparency. You have loved the things I do more than the things I am, but you have loved the things I have given you to do in the past most of all.
Like children that will not leave their toys, my children in North Texas, my children in the United States will not leave their toys to listen to instruction. They will not leave their toys to take on the responsibility that I have for them, the new instructions, the new work, the new thing that I am bringing.
Do you think that in the days of Noah there were not those that were building altars to Me? Do you not realize that there were those that were praying for the rain to stop even as the water soaked their beards? They were so caught up in their ideas, their plans and their agendas that they did not seek to build the Ark, to follow Me...to listen closely to Me.
Listen to Me, says the Lord, for I love you and I will lead you from Glory to Glory to Glory. I WILL lead you from Glory to Glory to Glory!
Amen and Amen.

Matthew 24:37-38 But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark,

new and different

2007-05-22T11:08:00.001-07:00

something has changed in the Spirit. I can feel it. There is a freshness and a movement, growth and revival...I feel like the parched ground soaking up rain after a long drought.
Spring is here in the Spirit it is a time of favor, and growth, of birth and life and all of the things spring represents. For some of us it is time ot put regret behind us and move ahead toward what the Lord is beckoning us to. For others it is time to put away sin, even minor sins that you mean to deal with later...for still others it is a time to forgive and move on..it is time to put away grief, and broken dreams and shattered hopes...and to pick up the reality of right now and allow God to build it into something new. Many of us are coming off the potter's wheel again after being smashed down..again...don't focus on what you have been but on what you are right now.
It is a*green* time. The things that are planted now will take root, sprout, grow to immense, healthy proportions and that is soemthing we much guard ourselves on because bad seeds planted will find fertile ground as well.
I believe the Lord is saying, speak that which you want to live in 5 years. Misplaced words, like weed seeds will corrupt the final crop. Be wise. Seek Him for your future, for your goals, for everything. This is a time to truly remember that man does not live by bread alone but on every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.
Think carefully. Speak carefully. Live wisely.

Tornado

2007-05-20T16:04:00.000-07:00

I had a tornado dream last night. God sends them to me when He wants to let me know that there is baout to be massive change, in the Body of Christ, in my church, in my family, in me.
I am excited about it in some ways. I am ready to move on to the next thing but it is always so hard to leave the present thing behind.
FOr this trip I am packing scripture carefully..I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you..plans to give you hope and a future...Create in me a pure heart o Lord adn renew a steadfast spirit within me.no weapon fomred against me shall prosper...I have loved you with an everlasting love...
Maybe soon I will have my itinerary for this next quest...for now, I am resting in His timing.

yay!

2007-05-17T09:07:00.000-07:00

Last nights teachign went very well...thank you Lord. In myself and I feeling a new intensity, a new commitment to prayer and warfare. It isn't quite ready to discuss yet but I can feel some changes coming on...and some new understanding...In the meantime we need to trust God and believet he Word! Too many Christians are not speakign the word in faith, we are coming into unholy agreements with the devil..that is so easy to fall into. For today I am going to focus on one are and askt he Lord for a scripture and a promise and then I am going ot get in agreement with that thing!

Baggage

2007-05-16T13:35:00.000-07:00

I know it has been two months..I am going ot get back at it I promise.
This is from a teaching I did several years ago, updated for a teachign I am doing tonight...alot of food for thought here...

Here are the notes:
Reference Samuel 17

I. Prologue
A. Vs 13-15 David was living a common life, doing common things and taking care of his responsibilities
1. Jesse, David’s father, was old
2. The oldest sons had left home and followed Saul into battle
3.BUT David...went back and forth to feed his father’s sheep
4. Spiritual victory in God’s way is not achieved by turning your back on your responsibilities for the greater glory.
B. Vs 17-20 David was willing to serve where he was placed and do what he was asked to do

So David rose up early the next morning, left the sheep with a keeper, took the provisions, and went as Jesse had commanded him. And he came to the encampment as the host going forth to the battle ground shouted the battle cry. And Israel and the Philistines put the battle in array army against army.

II Feature Presentation
David left his packages in the care of the baggage keeper and ran into the ranks and came and greeted his brothers
A. Packages
1. From the original Ylk,(ke-lee)
a.utensil, implement, apparatus, vessel
b.implement (of hunting or war)
c. .implement (of music)
d. implement, tool (of labour)
e.equipment, yoke (of oxen)
f. utensils, furniture
g.vessel, receptacle (general)
h. vessels (boats) of paper-reed

2. Ylk comes from a primitive root, hlk (kaw-law)
a. to accomplish, to cease, consume determine, end fail, finish, be complete, be accomplished, be ended, be at an end, to be finished, spent
1. To be complete, be at an end
2. To be finished
3. To be fulfilled
4. To be determined, to have bad sense, to have plotted
5.to be spent, used up
6. To be exhausted, to waste away, to fail
7. To come to an end, vanish, be destroyed
b. to bring to an end, to finish something
c. to complete a period of time
d. to finish doing a thing
e. to make an end
f. to accomplish, fulfill , bring to pass
g. to accomplish, determine to do something in thought
h. to cause to cease
i. to cause to fail, use up, spend
j. to destroy, exterminate
k. to be completed

B. Baggagekeeper- shamar
1. To keep or have charge of
2. To keep, guard, keep watch and ward, to protect,
3. Watch, watchman
a. to watch for, wait for
b. to observe
c. to keep, retain, treasure up (in memory)
d. to keep within bounds, restrain
e. to observe, celebrate, keep covenant, perform a vow
f. to keep, preserve, protect
g. to reserve

4. Niphal-guard
a. to be on one’s guard, to take heed,
. b. to keep one’s self, abstain
c. to be kept or guarded

C. You cannot do effective warfare if you are holding your own baggage
1. Our possessions
2. Our anger
3. Our comforts
4. Our abilities
5. Our technology
6. Our environment
7. What we fill our minds with
8. Our daily path/how we walk out our lives

D You can’t do effective warfare if you are holding on to the past
1. Failures
2. Successes
3. Vows
4. Battles
5 Victories

E. David ran and greeted his brothers
1. His concern was for others
2. He got the details
3. He talked to the people involved
4. He assessed the situation

You know basically we can't do effective warfare as long as we are holding onto our stuff, protecting our stuff, worried about our stuff..
we have to lay it down, hand it to the baggage keeper, and then go on in to talk to our brothers and sisters in Christ, assess the situation and then commence battling. Too many times Christians go into something totally unprepared for what comes back at them...and looking over their shoulders to make sure thier stuff is still o.k...
In order to posess the weapons the Lord wants to give us we have to lay down everything in our hands...everything we normally lean on, depend on, use in warfare and take up what he supplies and use it when he directs...Then and only then will we see quick victory.

2007-03-18T19:44:00.000-07:00

God, are you there? Cause I am really thinking that I am talkign to myself lately.
I feel like Alice on the chessboard..the harder I run the more I seem to go nowhere. I want to laay it all down but I look in my ands and I have nothing to lay down. I dont know, nothing, Lord, nothing seems right right now...Church is..insipid...like warm, flat coke. sweet and sticky, reminiscent of what it truly can be but leaving you thirsty for something...And it is probably just me. I want an intense deep relationship with you, I jsut dont know where I am right now or even where you are..I am not sure that i hear from you, altho once I thought I did...
What happens to a warrior who has been relegated to a fox hole for far too long? That the only thing he has seen or heard for as long as he can remember is just the walls of the foxhole and the bombs going off all around?
Does it stop Lord? At some point do I get to understand? because I am really really tired. and I really want to just relax into Your arms and not face the deep dark anymore. I dont want to have to fight..I am tired. Whatever you want me to do, where ever you want me to go..just put me there..I am disheartened, weary, and cold. I feel like I am at my spiritual Valley Forge.
So refresh me, Lord, please. Somehow. and if there is anything left to use, use me. thanks.

2007-03-02T05:46:00.000-08:00

When the Pharisees saw him keeping this kind of company, they had a fit, and lit into Jesus' followers. "What kind of example is this from your Teacher, acting cozy with crooks and riff-raff?" Matthew 9:11

You know, one of the most common questions I hear from Christians is, WHat kind of example is that?
I am embarrassed to say I have used the parental equivalent, "Be sure and set a good example"..

Our example is, and always must be Christ...and you know what? The people did not always feel like even HE lived up to the standard! Get this! This is good stuff!
I have spent the majority of my christian walk trying to live up to a standard and set a good example. Sometimes I have *succeeded* in the eyes of my peers, other times I have failed woefully-and most times I am doing both at the same time, depending on who you talk to!
My goal, today and everyday, is to be as Spirit controlled as I can be. I am learnign to look into myself for those things that I most do not want to let the Lord have in my life and push those things to the front of the altar every day..Here Lord!
Is there a place in me where I think that God does not have to be or want to be in control of? That is going on the altar first.
This is the challenge for today..think of a situation you want to go completely your way..you want to be completely your decision..a situation where you are sure what you are doing is o.k. with God...and then say this:
Lord I believe that my choice in this is fine with you...but I ask You to rearrange my life in whatever manner You like, despite my beliefs and notions, and have Your way in this and every other situation in my life, no matter what.
I have had to do this several times lately...several times over my life..and the changes that happen just about always shock me...but more than anything I want my life to wholly reflect Christ.
I don't want to be your example, because I am gonna stumble. I want only to be seen as someone who has a heart that is soft to the Lord.
Don't be an example...be who you are in Him, come what may. Live your life with excellence, passion and energy...let everyone else stay in the boat, I want to be the one that walks on the water..because even then when I begin to sink, as I probably will) He will be there to sustain me.

His Gifts

2007-02-24T07:53:00.000-08:00

In my Bible reading to day I was reading about the preparation for the Tent of meeting. Specifically I was interested in the following from Exodus 31 (Message):
God spoke to Moses: "See what I've done; I've personally chosen Bezalel son of Uri, son of Hur of the tribe of Judah. I've filled him with the Spirit of God, giving him skill and know-how and expertise in every kind of craft to create designs and work in gold, silver, and bronze; to cut and set gemstones; to carve wood - he's an all-around craftsman..

Sometimes we get caught up in guilt because we aren't out there evangelizing hte world..well, maybe you don't but I do. We tend to catagorize our lives by a weird point system of our own making and mine looks somethign like this-
praying,reading the Word, *official* praise-10 pts
evangelizing-10 points
teaching the Word in public-10 points
cooking/homemaking-5 points
parenting-4 points
crafts, sewing projects -0 points
and then we get into the stuff I really enjoy and get in to the negative points...
But God created our giftings ,our personality, the way our minds work..He gave us our individual interests and passions...and even if we never feel like we are using htem to further the Kingdom in the natural who are we to question what God has placed in our keeping?
I wonder if the Israelites struggled with this prior to the instructions for the Tent of Meeting..
I mean, did the craftsmen look at the leaders and sigh, wishing that they could do somethign important for God? Did they look down at what seemed like a trivial little carving and wish that they could do something that would make the Lord proud of them?
I think they must have. I just don't think that human nature ahs changed that much. My greatest frustration is that I want to make God proud of me and I don't see that I do anything worthy of His pride day to day.
I don't think He is surprised. I think someday I will understand the why's of my life...but for now, I am trying to learn to trust that He is in charge, that He has me in this place, for such a time as this. I used to feel alienated from other people to some extent because I never seem to be able to be fully fit in anywhere. Now I have accepted that as a fact of who I am and what i am called to (no clue, that is one of the whys I want answered). I am too conservative or too liberal, and always always too intense.
My very favorite quilts are the Amish ones that are jewel colors on black ..my favorite artists are from the Dutch School...those rich dark backrounds with layers of sheer, vibrant color..shimmering with light...I love curries and anything that is a juxstaposition of opposites in flavor and color and texture. This summer I am going to develope a HOT cinnamon ice cream...something that is icy cold and burning hot at the same time..
So why this on Butterfly Warriors rather than on hte more chatty, eclectic Road Not Taken?
You cannot become a warrior wearing someone else's armor. David showed us that when he refused Saul's armor and weapons in favor of just himself and what he was comfortable with. Satan has worked for our whole lives to make us uncomfortable with who we are..why? Because it renders us powerless and without the desire to fight.
Above all of my giftings and all of my talents I am a warrior. The enemy will not win over my family, my blessing, myself or my friends while I have the breath to gasp out prayer and reach for my sword. I must stand apart because that is part of what I do..
I am moving into a time of accepting my gifts with gratitude ..even those that I do not understand, or find less important. Maybe the day will ocme when God sends someone to my door who has need of a quilt or a ball of spun wool or a painting of something..or a meal..or prayer. ANd I want to be ready and available, with my armor shiney and my sword sharp and ready.
Lord,
Today, Father, allow me to accept completely that which you have given me. Let me not pick through Your hand to find the blessings I deem to be more important or more desireable than the others. Help me not to treat Your giftings like a box of Valentines Chocolate poking through the backs to find the fillings I like. I, by an act of my will, ask You to give me every thing You have for me today and not hold back. I, by an act of my will, accept it all without criticism or judgement and ask only that You would direct the use of each gift, each situation, each experience to Your glory. Lord, let every single person who reads this be infused with an extra portion of Your grace, Your love and Your power for change in their lives. And Lord, allow me to be more and more transparent, more and more the me you have created me to be. Let me be water, easily molding to the place You put me, not like ice which is hard and must be crushed to be contained..and not like steam which has so little substance that it makes no difference on it's environment. ANd help me not be scared, or respond from past hurt, nor be intimidated, or overwhelmed..but with clarity and Your insight to be able to speak the Truth in love in all circumstances as You lead.
And Lord, could i have one handful on purpose today? just You and me.
amen.

plans

2007-02-07T11:56:00.000-08:00

I know the plans i have for you , says the Lord....plans to prosper and not to harm you..plans to give you hope and a future.

I realized today that this speaks to my hopelessness. God has plans to give me hope, which means that He knows there are areas where I have lost hope..finances, I am ashamed to say are overwhelming me right now. It is easy to talk big but I am human and I get tired of watching every penny. It was amazing to our son who is in the Air Force to realize thathe made more than his dad. He had been embarrased because of his constant comments that it was impossible to live on an E-2 salary. My grocery budget is 500 a month for 8 people..and includes the credit card payments I have to make...and school supplies...I can praise God that He gives me the grace adn the ability to accomplish that but sometimes I don't want to. I will admit to days where putting hte kids in school, getting a smaller house in a development, and getting a job seems very nice.
ANd yet the problems would remain. I know that God orders my steps, maybe i know it better than most people. SO when I am walkign through fire I know that it is fire from heaven and a refining process. I just dont want to be refined anymore. The fire will not harm me it is part of the prospering process..that even myt soul will prosper and I will become more and more like Him..Ultimately that is what I want.
So He has plans to give me hope..when I think I cant go on I get a blast of hope..someone says something encouraging..I relax..I get a nap..something..and I have a future in Him. A good future should i choose to not give up.
Lord, I pray for everyoen that reads this..that you would give them a blast of hope and encouragement right now. Thanks!

Lord let me follow you with enthusiasm

2006-12-30T14:24:00.000-08:00

2007

2006-12-21T12:33:00.000-08:00

I was trying to decide whether or not to share publically but since I have read several things in hah and also in other areas that seemed to have confirmed the Word I will share. Test it..take it or leave it.

Christmas is key this year...It is a pivot point, an on switch for what is to come...Literally it will be a time of suddenlies, unexpected blessing and trial that seems to fall out of the sky totally out of nowhere. Accusations that have no basis in fact will assault soem of us...some of us will be removed from loong held positions with out a clue why....when you think back on 07 you will think * movement*....things that seem to be unfolding in a predictible manner will become unpredictible...and most of us will feel overwhelmed, out of control and weak. January will come in with a roar... this is a picture of January.
The Lord asked me a simple question on Sunday. He said..*can you accept what ever happens as being from My hand?*
I am embarrassed and ashamed to say that my first thought was ..Great what am I going ot have to give up this year?

This is the year to speak in accord with Christ. I am fat is a lie...I am weird...is a lie...I am unaccepted is a lie...all these negative thoughts we have habitually allowed to swirl through our minds must come into alignment with the Truth of the Word....I am beautiful because I am created in the image of God..He is bringing my body to a healthy, perfect weight...I am unique and fearfully and wonderfully made..I am accepted in the brethren.... I am prospered...I am in the process of being healed...I am wise with the wisdom from above...etc....
What you speak and come into agreement this year will have an effect on your life for a very long time.
There will be a breaking of religious trapping and a move toward a more personal, daily, informal relationship with Christ. It wont be anything you can do except to ask and allow Him to work it in your life...
Long standing promises will begin to bear fruit rapidly...areas where you or family members are off base and missing the mark will become very apparent as the dross rises to the surface...This seems bad but it is good...It is good because the sin was there all the time only now it can be dealt with..
It is Him ....it is not an attack..it is not a punishment or consequences of some sin in your life..it is growth and healing and blessing and love from the hand of God.
SOme of us will move unexpectedly...God is positioning His people strategically. Some will start a new era of life-season...
It is Him...If you want all that He has for you this year..accept it as from His hand...thank Him that He is drawing you, leading you and orchestrating your life every moment...
That's all.

Growth and metamorphisis

2006-12-11T05:52:00.000-08:00

I am growing. I can feel it! I was able to disagree with something unscriptural our pastor preached without feeling like I must be wrong.. and for me that is a big step.
I am looking forward to this next year. I feel a fresh annointing, a fresh wind of the SPirit...a newness and a freshness like a sweet spring breeze blowing through the dead trees of winter. The time is not yet and surprisingly I am feeling patient and able to wait.
There is an excitement and anticipation about '07...
Lord You are glorious and worthy to be praised! Tank you so much for bringing me forth from the wildernes...for giving me the glimpse of Canaan just across the way...Lord give me strength to continue on and possess what You have given me!

Questions without answers

2006-11-29T07:20:00.000-08:00

That is how I feel. I am questioning everythign right now and I feel so unspiritual. Comparing myself to women I have known for years is frightening because they seem to be so sure, so comfortable, so established in their ideas of right and wrong...of what is acceptable and what is not.
Why can't You give me a list, a LONG list of rules? How am I supposed to knwo where the lines are if I can't see them? Why can't my lines be obvious as everyone else's seem to be?
Why is my life being shaken up and others seem to be content going to church, coming home, serving in their positions, praying as usual....What is happening to me? DO You even care? Is it that I am so unredeemable that You are willing to let me just do whatever because I am not ever going to get it right? Do You love me? If You do where is the discipline, the correction I should be getting? Surely I am doing wrong things? I am the bad one, You know! I am trying hard not to be but it always seems that I do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, am the wrong thing. AM I like Judas that was created for nothing other than to be the bane of Your existance?
I dont want that. I want to be loved. Accepted. And yeah, the WOrd says I am but so many people seem to look askance at what I do, what I say, who I am. I don't even know.
What is o.k. for a godly woman? What is that. Love? Surely...empathy, compassion? Honesty, integrity? I have all of that. SIncerity? yes. Faith? Yes, but mine is a strange faith because i know without a shadow of a doubt that You exist and You can do anything and You are loving and good- yet I falter when it comes to believing these things apply to me.
If I wear long skirts and put my hair up..if I bake all of my own bread and make all of my own clothes...If I keep my house clean and my children are well behaved, then Lord, then will I feel godly and spiritual?
Psalm 3
1 A psalm of David, regarding the time David fled from his son Absalom. O LORD, I have so many enemies; so many are against me.
2 So many are saying, "God will never rescue him!"
3 But you, O LORD, are a shield around me, my glory, and the one who lifts my head high.

4 I cried out to the LORD, and he answered me from his holy mountain.
5 I lay down and slept. I woke up in safety, for the LORD was watching over me.
6 I am not afraid of ten thousand enemies who surround me on every side.
7 Arise, O LORD! Rescue me, my God! Slap all my enemies in the face! Shatter the teeth of the wicked! 8 Victory comes from you, O LORD. May your blessings rest on your people.

The glory and the lifter of my head..you hold my chin and tip my face up to You, You gaze into my eyes silently, because there is nothing that need be said, is there? When will I believe Lord? When will I believe! Help me to believe.

crumpled heap of humanity

2006-11-17T10:54:00.000-08:00

Lord, I am just that..everything inside me hurts. How cn just one small sentence, one look, one moment do that to me every time?
I hate being like this. I hate where I am right now spiritually. I dont know what to do or how to change it. I dont know how to work it through...Can I run?
I dont want to deal with me. I dont know what I want;. I want to be a size six..I want to be breathtakingly beautiful. I want to write a novel. I want to finish this house. I want to live somewhere else..
and then?
And then Lord I will have a whole new set of wants. Because I am exactly what I always have been and it looks much better than it is, huh?
How do I throw off this demon, the one that persistantly smooths my hair back from my ear and gently tells me how I am such a F--- up that I cant do anythign right? How do I fight that? I am tired Lord, and I don't ...How much more are we going to let me mess up before we just sigh and give up?
I cant keep this house clean, i cant homeschool anymore..I can't even be the mom I need to be because the testosterone tossed teens are terrifically traumatizing today.
Help?

strange experience

2006-11-11T06:45:00.000-08:00

MArc and the boys are gone until this afternoon camping. last night Shiloh, Kyrie and I watched girlie movies and ate popcorn and pizza until we passed out. Well, until they passed out..I then went upstairs to sleep in my comfortable, but cold and empty bed...
A felt myself fall into a state of half conciousness where I could not jump over the wall into sleep but did not want to wake myself up either...and as it is often a place I meet with the Lord I waited to see what would happen.
I saw my pastor an the platform at church..and he was speaking. ANd I prayed for him and he fell into a heap on the floor..completely under the power of the Holy Spirit..unable to move or to speak...and the earth shook...a vibration that you could feel not just on the earth itself but int he atmosphere around the earth...I cant explain it but the air trembled as well. And a voice spoke to me and said, "when this happens the earth trembles with delight"
ANd then I heard a scraping sound, a knockign sound, the sound of someone in my bedroom..and I felt panicked in my spirit and I pushed myself out of that place...heart pounding.
Of course there was noone there but there was the fading presence of something...
This seemed to be a sober warning.
And so, I begin to pray for my pastor in a deeper way today. I beleive that the enemy is planning another coup, of which the last few weeks were only the tip of the iceburg...

prayer

2006-11-09T07:51:00.000-08:00

Lord,
thanks for today, the warmth, the sun..Your provision for us. Thank you that every issue is solved, every problem is nothing but holograms...I just need to keep l0oking at you through all of it.
Thank you for building my faith. For bringing me to this place.
I bring my family before you Lord and ask Your protection on all of them..I ask that you will touch them deeply and bring them into a deeper walk with you, lead them in every way.
I ask that you would draw me closer to You, Lord tht I would truly BE more and DO less. Help me to be less critical..help me to be more compassionate.
Father, I am struggling with hope. I am losing the strength to believe that we will move from here...If this is NOT somehting you have called us to Lord, if we aren't making htat move, please show us. Please lead us in Your steps becayse we dont want ot go anywhere that You haven't led.
TOuch this day with Your Presence Holy SPirit.In all that I do..all that I say. Help me to make a positive impact on someone or something today that is lasting and eternal.
AMen.

Just me praying

2006-11-08T07:18:00.000-08:00

Lord, thank you. Thank you for bringing me out into this new place that I am beginning to see on the horizon..
Continue to push me and mold me to be the woman, the wife, and the mom that you want me to be. Help me not to hang back because of fear or anxiety but to move ahead bodly, looking to You for everything, for every step, every provision, every nod of approval.
Create in me a pure heart o Lord and renew a steadfast spirit with in me. SHow me what I should be doing, Lord, as far as ministry, or works..and help me to do everything you call em to with passion and excellence.
Give me a continuing hunger for Your Word, Your Presence, YOur touch. Help me never to lack compassion or be trite in my answers to someone else.
Lord be with Marc as he goes to work today, as he leads our family in Your ways. Thank you for this man, that You have blesed me with in so many ways. Thank You for his abilities in leadership and compassion, mercy and his servant's heart..Lord thank You that You gave me a David when I only deserved a Nabal. Bless the work of His hands today, encourage him in every way Lord. Make me the wife he needs. Mold us inot the people You envision us to be, Lord whatever that takes.
Father, Thank you for Jon and Erin and family..Thank You that You have given my daughter a godly man who loves her and is focused on following You to the best of his understanding. Help him lead that family Lord, bless the work of his hands..Encourage Erin, Father, it is hard for her to be away from her siblings and parents. ANd help me to be encouraging and not controlling. If I am to give opinions or advice let them be with lovign gentleness, not know it all bravado. Keep Amanda and Gabe safe...Lead all of them into a deeper walk with You..Father Help Amanda and Gabe to know You deeply and passionatly and never trade their relationship with You for lesser things.
Chris, Lord. Thank you that he is honorable, that he loves You, that he is seeking You. Continue to work on him and help Him to heal in all the areas he needs healing. Bring him into the right relationship when it is Your time..Keep his heart safe between now and then and convict him of areas of sin. Father ,hedge him in, remove those from his life that will not carry out Your purpose for Chris. Help him to have a hunger for your Word and please Lord ..get him into church more regularly.
The younger kids Lord...Help me be the mom that they need..Help them to feel loved and secure...deepen their relationship with You and with eachother. Help Matt an Ethan to get along better and show preference to eachother. Keep them safe, and remove any influences form their lives that will not work Your will in them.
Our finances. ..Lord You know the needs.
my bronchitis Lord...I need healing..thank You.
Mary's eye and Chris's shingles-healing.
Help MOnica have a gret pregnancy and a healthy birth and delivery.
karen- be with her, Father, in every way, strengthen her, give her the grace she needs, the comfort, the acceptance, joy nd love...handfuls on purpose,Lord, drop them just for her.
Tracey- finances and emotions Lord...touch her in the ways she needs to feel Your touch.
Our church Lord..You know the needs there...
Our house/the move we want to make, we feel You calling us to...
The animals Lord..bring a buyer for the horses please or help us find a source for hay..or move us quick..Please Father, give wisdom on the horses and goats.
Thank you for all that You are in my life.Amen.

struggling out of darkness

2006-11-05T07:01:00.000-08:00

For the past week I have felt more and more like i am breaking free of a darkness that I didn't even know surrounded me...Have I been grieving for all of these years? I don't know..I do know that the last time things feltnormal (whatever that is) was Feb 3, 2001 shortly before dad died. From that point it seems that the maelstrom sucked me in deeper and deeper and as things continued I forgot what reality was....Have I been a prisoner of war for these 6 years, becomming more and more brainwashed, becoming more unaware of reality as I waited to be freed? And why has the wait been so long?
I don't know. To say it would be unscriptural to believe God left me in prison as a prisoner of war would be blasphemy...Joseph wass imprisoned for 15 years, many more than the 6 I am looking at..
Were his thoughts during those years different, more spiritual than mine? Did he ache for one more day of freedom, one more moment of unqualified joy?
I think he did. I think that he screamed out anguished prayer..like me. I think he whispered hoarse prayers from a throat closed by sorrow...like me. And I htink he felt abandoned each time it looked like the cell door was opening only to have it slam in his face as the ringing of the metal echoed down bleak, cold hallways...like me.
And yet..There is a dim light..I hear the roar of aircraft outside..My heart leaps inside me in a renewed hope and I hear the Voice, "not much longer".
I feel myself standing straight again, I feel pain and not just numbness from emotions that have been cut off for too long...I feel hope..and joy...
I don;t know what is about to happen, I only know that I am about to breathe the clean, sweet air of freedom, I am about to see the sunlight, squinting in the brightness..I am about to feel the earth under my feet and hear the sounds of joy..O taste and see that the Lord is good and his love endureth forever!
Not yet..I am not out yet but the time is close.
Joseph went on to be important, to do a major work for the Lord...what will I go on to do?
Lord, thank you for deliverance today...Thank you for breaking hte yoke and for all that you have formed in me through this time...amen.

bible reading

2006-11-02T08:02:00.000-08:00

I think I have figured out why Christians struglle with reading the Word...
O.k, well maybe you don't but I DO. It is hard soemtimes to sit downa nd read it when there are other things that need to be done or even that I would rather do..and it seems to me that it should not be about discipline....I don't have to discipline myself to eat chocolate...or to read a good book or chat online...I do have to discipline myself to work out..yuck.
So, the fact that it is *good * for me is not the impetus I am looking for ....

We don't read the Word because we read it one day and it seems dry, and instead of stopping and asking hte Holy Spirit to make it live for us and meditate on the verse we are sticking on we just choke down the rest of the chapter because we have committed to read for 1 hour a day or whatever.
I do not htink this is what God had in mind. You know...I keep hearing about the Acts church but they only heard the scripture read on the Sabbath. It is a luxury to have the freedom to read the Word daily but some of us are so toxic from all of the legalism we have swallowed that we need a detox...Here is what I am doing...
Every day I am going to ask the Holy SPirit to give me a passion and a hunger for the Word of God...and then I am going ot read ONE verse. I am not going to read more until God works that passion into me, but I will ask Him every day to do just that.
We can't do anything for ourselves, can we just stop pretending that we can? It is no good to whip up a discipline of readng the Word if you are reading it and then forgetting what you read, or reading it just to mark off that chore for the day. I want more than that...i want a passionate, powerful, measureable, faithfilled walk wiht the Lord and I am willing to fight for it.
The first step for me is admitting htat if I try to do it on my own it will be a failure.
Lord, I cannot do this on my own..I can't whip up a desire to be in Your Word event hough it is good for me..I don't want it to just be good for me, Lord, I want to CRAVE it with every atom of my Self. Withe verythign I am and I ever will be I ask you to build in me a passion and understanding of scripture that I have not had before. Open it up and make it alive.
I do commit to one verse a day, Lord even if I don't feel like it, but I ask you, Holy Spirit to increase my hunger for the Word moment to moment until I would rather read the Bible that watch t.v. or be on the computer or anything.
Create in me a pure heart o Lord and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Prayer

2006-10-25T09:25:00.000-07:00

Lord,
Teach me to be the woman you created me to be..teach me to be real. Help me to put aside the trappings of Churchliness that I have so easily and willfully chosen and ebcome simple and real...Help me to love, to encourage, to laugh and cry with passion..Help me to worship You truly in everything I do..not just the spiritual things...Help me create chocolate cakes that cause rejoicing in heaven, make love to my husband in creative ways that rock his world and curl his toes and be the type of friend that is really emotionally there...Help me to be willing to allow my children to find You for themselves, deeply....and Trust You with the direction their lives take. Most of all, Lord, teach me to be Your love, a woman that You are proud of and take joy in no matter what others might think..Amen

Tornado dream

2006-10-23T14:52:00.000-07:00

O.k. for my whole life tornado dreams mean change. Last night I had a doozie. I had taken Kyrie to a store to shop for clothes for me, and for some reason I was driving mom's car (which I still own)..It was in a strip center. I went in and was looking at clothes...then the scene changed and I was walking the interior perimeter of the sanctuary at church praying in tongues. Then I was back int he store and it was tiem for them to close but I could not find my purse adn I realized I did not have pants on...They helped me look for my stuff but finally I had to go out the back door with the employees. I went to mom's car and started to unlock it when I heard tornado sirens...iw as trying to decide whether to go home or wait in the covered area for the tornado to pass..I decided to wait int he covered area..Stil clutching Kyrie I went back to that area and sat on a bench to wait..I considered calling my parents ot let them know where I was...I realized then that the employees who were waiting with me were vampires....But they assured me they were recovering vampires..and then the rain starting hitting...

Very weird I know..I am seeing a couple of things..A change is coming, surely. I am not prepared for it..I need to seriously get into the Word and in line iwht what God has told me to do and stop shopping around for extras....Basic Christianity 101.... I am also not financially prepared...I had misplaced my purse. I do have the keys to get out of danger but if I keep wating time I am going to be stuck with people i should not be around rather than with those who I am called to be with. I need to watch out for people that may try to feed on me spiritually or emotionally.

So...please pray that I will take the necessary steps as God leads! Thanks.

Maintaining the edge

2006-10-17T19:34:00.000-07:00

I have decided that maintaining your edge in your Christian walk is like maintaining it anywhere else, a matter of walking just outside your comfort zone.
I am so not comfortable at church. EWWW. I feel like an alien. TO quote from one of my favorite Heinlein books... they just don't grok me. And the blame is definitly not on them for that.
I have become over the years, an enigma even to myself. Poor Marc is fascinated by me..you know..the way an animal is fascinated by the lights of an oncoming car?
O.k..I am getting off on the subject for another blog...Focus.
ANyway..maintaining your edge is about pushing beyond what is comfortable and easy. Fasting...doing something that is out there and pumps your adrenalin..do a missions trip...give 1000.00 anonomously to someone who needs it. It keeps you pumped. Random acts of spirituality.
I so dont want to be a christian that is comfortable sitting on a chair and bemoaning the color of the curtains...I have had sort of a epiphany this year in realizign that looking spiritual and being spiritual are two different things. That maybe it IS o.k. for me to enjoy being me just the way God created me. Maybe I don't need to wear Pentecostal clothing to be acceptable to the Lord...and I am sure my husband is relieved. He likes the tight jeans. ....which may not be thoroughly spiritually minded until you figure that we have been HAPPILY married for 27 years so hey...we are doing something right.
Why is it unspiritual to say, "I have a nice butt"
Seriously. I work hard at having a nice butt. God gave me a certain look..I enjoy being/feeling attractive. Personally I do not feel attractive in ugly clothing. I know all about the lust thing but any man that is lustign after a 46 yr old woman with 6 kids gathered around her (who is not her husband) is a little weird anyway...and he had probably better watch out for aforementioned husband. Why is it bad to feel attractive? My horse, Hope, is a beauty. She really is. She knows it too. She will look at you sideways as she flies by, at a full gallop, tail up and mane flying and she takes just a second to make sure you are watching. She knows she is gorgeous and she enjoys being admired. Is that sin?
Surely roses and honeysuckle enjoy being admired? A sunset? When God creates beauty He means for it to be enjoyed. The sin of lust is in the heart of the luster not the lustee. Act appropriately, dress appropriately but all of this paranoia lest a thigh be flashed as you get out of the car...or dear God, cleavage....
I admit it. I like being admired. I like it when my husband feels that he is truly the luckiest man alive..He is of course, but I like it when he realizes it.
What has this to do with spiritual edges? The more we cover who we are, the more we layer ourselves in comfortable compliance without asking if we are complying to God or just allowing others around us to be comfortable in their sin, the more we lose our edge.
Lust does not decrease as women cover more. Lust decreases as men get closer to the Lord in heart and mind and spirit. Walking on the edge means being out there, being who you are, being available to God for whatever He chooses to do with you and dealing with it.
Maintain your edge. Go for more. Dive in to the deepest parts of your spirituality and go deeper, past the light dappled water and down to the cold and murky depths until you feel your lungs ready to burst and the only answer is Jesus Christ givign you His breath. Then you are on the edge. The point at which you can say, without Him I will die.

create in me

2006-10-14T18:39:00.000-07:00

Create i me a pure heart o Lord and renew a steadfast spirit within me...Keep me from choosing my way over Your way. Build compassion in my heart, a willing ness to be what You want me to be, to be faithful to You in everyaspect and area. Help me not to bow to idols, even idols that don't look like idols..Help me not to focus on the unimportant things but to focus on the important ones. Help me to be the wife that Marc needs, the mom that my kids need, the friend that my friends need. Help me to be a woman after Your own heart, a woman of fatih, of purity and of wisdom. Help me to be an encourager not a distraction or dissenter. Help me to stay away from stupid arguements based on fleshly concerns and concentrate on those things that are important to You.
And could I please lose 20 lbs by Christmas?

stripping esau

2006-10-12T22:33:00.000-07:00

Jeremiah 49:10
..But I have stripped Esau (edom) bare. I have uncovered his hiding places and he cannot hide himself...

I just turned to this out of the blue and I thought..THIS is what God is doing in my life. Esau represents flesh man...as Jacob represents the redeemed man. God takes our flesha nd lays it embarrassingly bare in front of us..for all to see...and there really is nowhere to hide, nothing to say, no excuse to make..there we are...now, what are we going to do?

WHat do I do when there is no more place for me to hide my flesh issues? Where my every flaw is exposed and raw and uncovered...
And the Lord holds my chin firmly in His hand and gazes into my eyes and tells me He loves me anyway..but I can't take my flesh back into hiding..
It seems to me to be like the first time I looked, naked, into a full length mirror after my first child was born. WHat a shock! Surely that was not my body! Ah..but it was..and there was no where to hide it. Seeing it as it was forced me to make decisions that needed to be made about my eating, exercise and reality choices.
Spiritually we come to that place..I am there now, I think. No more excuses. No more putting off what needs to be done. No amount of lovely works will continue to hide the flesh.
I have been in a place for nearly 2 years where I have been unable to move in my gifting of prophecy. That has bothered me. Last year I had to lay my ministry down..and altho I tried to pick it back up I just did not have the oomph for it..to keep it going...I have to face who I am and who I am not without hiding behind ministries, giftings or the charismatic equivalent of psycho-babble. My walk with Christ must be less about how I feel and more about Who He is.
Change me Lord. I can't stand to stay how I am now. Recreate me Your way...but please dont leave me where I am.

When I don't understand

2006-10-06T08:55:00.000-07:00

Lord, when I dont understand anything baout my life, what is happening, and why....when even my deepst emotions are beyond my control..when in standing firm I seem to be in a fetal position grabbing the grass at my feet to hold my place...Lord when chaos swirls around me like leaves in a tornado and debris is hitting me from everywhere..
When all of this occurs I am left with only the small hope that You will find me and fix it. Please Lord, be my Sir Knight and rescue me from the dragon...please find me where I am and take me to where I need to be. Elijah had ravens to bring him bread, but if You don't mind I would prefer something a bit more fairy tale...a warm and cackling fire, a cup of hot chocolate, a quilt and Your touch, Lord...Your confident and loving voice assuring me of my safety and my rescue...
And tell me I am not ovewhelming to you Lord...Tell me that I am just exactly right..just perfect..just what You hoped I would be..
Please find me, Lord, before it is too late.

A New Year

2006-09-26T07:44:00.000-07:00

Saturday the 23 ushered in a new Hebrew year. Normally I don't pay that much attention it it because I am not Jewish...but this year the Lord really spoke to me that this was an important year.and it was going ot be known as the year of the sword.
This was a bit strange to me in alot of ways and i have sort of a wait and see attitude about what God is telling me. But some of it I do understand. This year God has said..enough! This year is a time when the Lord will again fight on behalf of His people. This is a year when we will move into positions, ministries, and destinies.
I am continuing to call all things in my life into line with the Word...I have been on a spiritual vacation...ALl last year I asked the Lord to give me rest, a little R and R and all of a sudden I realized that that is exactly what I had been living without actually noticing it. How funny how that happens. I had shut down and never noticed what He was doing. Big surprise??!!
But I am again feeling my spirit stirring. I know that I am in a new place. I am ready for the next thing. I am ready to be active yet I am not released to be active quite yet....
I feel like a race horse at the gate and I am excited about what is to come. The race is fixed and my side wins.

Revival 2

2006-09-18T20:43:00.000-07:00

So here we are in the second day of the revival/guest speaker. It is an amazing hting. I don't think I have ever felt so emotionally distant yet so aware of the Holy Spirit moving. SOrt of like birth with an epidural.
There is none of my emotions involved and that is interesting to em because it puts a whole different feel to it. I am so used to the Lord moving, me feeling it, responding to it...
This time I am watching it. I am benefitting from it. But I am not entering in to it emotionally. It seems that God is showing me that my emotions are not what makes the difference, that He can work in my life without my emotions being involved. Very clinical..I am not sure that this is my preference although it is an interesting experience.
So tonight I prayed hard in tongues at the altar, yet still with the emotioanl detachment. It erupted from me in a fountain of words that I could not control, burning through my vocal chords and echoing throughout the sanctuary in the quiet of prayer. And then it was like something broke and everyone was praying, was crying, was feeling the touch of God...except me..I almost fell out under hte annointing yet noone laid hands on me..It was, again, an unnerving experience.
And I have been called to a deeper fast until Rosh Hashanah. No solids. Interesting. The Word I have is that we are not to move, we are not to seek answers or fix problems but to just stand and wait for the salvation of the Lord. This next year is the year of the Sword..the year that the Lord triumphs over our enemies, the year of the lifting of our heads, the year of our favor, the year of our recompense.
I see Christians in a vision as standing holding weaponry in an aggressive stance but not moving. It is a lull this week as the enemy tried to pick us off and gets frustrated that he cannot.
He is the Breaker. I have seen film of the ice breaker boat that goes ebfore the other boats and breaks ice so the boats can go through..He is brekaing the way, blazing the trail.
It is an awesome thing.

Revival

2006-09-12T05:31:00.000-07:00

The church has been called to a fast..I don't think I have ever had another Pastor that calls so many fasts. That isnt a bad thing..Christians are pretty weak, whiny lot and a few fasts are good for us..just unusual.
I have been on a fast since Dec 15 and so I just am less than imnpressed with a week long fast..but hey I don't need to be impressed. My question is, when the church is called to a fast do I continue doing what I am doing or kick it up a notch?
So...The Lord woke me up this mornign to pray. I really argued with im for a bit until He pulled the trump card..yeah..."I am asking you to get up and pray now."
What are you gonna do when the Creator of the universe pulls a favor, right?
So I am prayed up aand feelign pretty good..Until the boys get into a battle and I have to referee and instead of being wise and gentle and godly I tell them that if they touch eachother again I am gonna put both of them on the floor. sigh. What is it about adolescent boys? Ah, yes. Testosterone.
Sometimes I think they do not have enough to do..some times I think they have too much to do. I wish I could find the answer.
I'd be rich.
Anyway..so the whole fast is about revival. Getting back the passion and the desire to spend time with God. ALot of time. It is like anythign..the longer you go without something the more you don't miss it. Even food..you know..after the first day or two you don't really get hungry..You sort of know you are missing something but it becomes more like a vague feeling than anything.
Revival is about knowing what you are missing..Becoming hungry for it. Desiring it. Like not eating for awhile and walking past a bakery that has just taken a chocolate cake out of the oven..
Since we can't even drum up our own desire for the Lord we need to ask Him to give us more and more and more desire for Him.

God of the open Air

2006-09-06T07:33:00.000-07:00

Henry Van Dyke 1852-1933

Men have dulled their eyes with sin,
And dimmed the light of heaven with doubt,
And built their temple-walls to shut thee in,
And framed their iron creeds to shut thee out.

What I want More than Anything

2006-09-01T19:15:00.000-07:00

I want to be passionate for the things the Lord is passionate for...I want to be fierce to protect thoset hat are unprotected. I want to speak the Truth in love. .and I want to have the courage to do that forcefully if I need to..I want to cry when someone hurts and I want to laugh when someone laughs..I so do not want to go through life in some kind of ivory tower (altho on my other blog I am a princess in a tower but that is a different deal)...I want God to use me..I ACHE for the Lord to reach through me and touch other people ..To be able to have His Word, His tender touch, His compassionate smile at just the right moment!
Every atom in my screams with agony and frustration that I am not more of Him less of me. More Lord! MOre Lord! More Lord!
I don't want to be mediocre and lukewarm, self satisfied, status quo. God, that is death to be that way! I don't want to be a whitewashed grave..a mask...I want to be real real real. I want to eb trasnparent! I want to be courageous!
I want to be filled gloriously, unstoppabley, overflowing, with the Holy SPirit. I want my frustration to be quenched with the flood of His Presence....I will not be happy, I will not settle for less...than the all that He has for me. And I will not smile and nod and pretend not to notice that the enemy just cut down another brother or sister in the Lord.
USe me Lord, evenif it hurts, even if it is intimidating, even if it messes with my comfort zone.I am yours to command in every way...I don't want to be right, I don't want to be wrong I just want to be in You.
May the Words of my mouth and the Meditiations of my heart be pleasign in Your sight o Lord.

More on authority and trust

2006-08-28T18:43:00.000-07:00

I used ot be afraid to ask God for things becuase Iw as afraid I would get things that were bad for me. That stems from my occult background, I think, thinking that I can coerce God into doing my bidding.
In reality God rarely gives us things He does not wish us to have and I do not believe it is possible to miss the will of God when you are seeking it...Success does not always look like success to us. Did Christ ont he cross look like success to the disciples until they had a full understanding of what had happened after hte fact?
Not likely.
And call me blasphemous but I am willing ot bet it did not FEEL like success to Jesus Christ.
If you are seeking God step out with confidence and trust Him to lead you the way you should go...no matter how it looks to you...
Waiting is the hard part. Waiting for His timing. Like Saul waiting for Samuel to get there to burn the offering and just giving up and doing it himself..we are prone to figure out a way to *help God along*.
And then...when do we call upon the authority we are given to speak change to our circumstances?
Ask
Seek
Knock

Pray
Wait expectantly.
Speak in faith.

You are not stronger willed than God..You cannot miss God when you are searching for Him. That is not in keeping with who He is. SUccess can look an awful lot like failure sometimes unless you are looking at it from His point of view. Trust. It will be o.k..

Dream

2006-08-22T08:03:00.000-07:00

So I had this dream last night...I just want to wrote it out because there is some prophetic feel to it...
We were on base..somewhere..somewhere that we had been before..I recognized it..San Angelo? We were living in a tiny apartment...upstairs..the apartments were like barraks..O.D. Green...steep narrow steps up each side of the building to the upstairs apartments...ie: each building held 4 apartments, 2 on the ground floor, 2 upstairs, with stair cases on opposite sides of the building.
The apartment was tiny but I only remember the dining room..very small, round wooden table, flowers in the center of the table...The wood was dark..walnut?
Marc was very involved with a group of Marines. He would go off with them every day..I remember feeling left out...there was abandonment in this dream and yet I remember beign concious of looking at myself from outside the dream and knowing that it was my perspective..not reality at all. I was not, and could not be part of what he was doing.
We stood in line to go into a dining area...not really a mess hall..more like an officers club? There was a sense of graduation...Marc was in his dress blues in this part. He was looking for Major Stonebarger, who had retired...which would be true...1980 was a long time ago!
It was during this ceremony or dinner that I felt left out and abandoned the most, was there jealousy? I walked out..I remember standing by a red brick wall and talking to some women that were there for the ceremony.
Marc brought me flowers..lots of them..there was some kind of purple flower on a small potted bush type plant..a small Rose of Sharon? The flowers were trumpet shaped to an extent and filled the plant and the fragrance filled the room.
That is mainly it. So...hmm..Looking at just the things that jump out at me...
San Angelo....That was the end of his training. I couldn't be involved..it was his training.I was with him but not doign what he was doing..Sometiems I did feel left out...when they went for pizza for lunch or whatever..So maybe that represents Marc ending a cycle of his life..a training period. Moving on to something he is going to do, that he has been preparing for, that I will only be able to accompany him in, not be part of.
No kids in the dream. It will not be soemthing that affects the kids overly much.
The flowers...Rose of Sharon is another name for Christ, couple that with purple, and the fragrance filling the room and I think that the Lord is showing me His Presence in this thing.
So my feeling is that Marc is about to be released into what he has been spiritually training for for a long time and it will unnerve me in some way. It will kick in my insecurities and feelings of abandonment but that there is no need for that because that is not reality...
Please feel free to post any other insights....

Kingdom living 3 8/20/06

2006-08-20T12:11:00.000-07:00

Prophecy is like military intelligence. You are listening intently for things that other people don't necessarily hear...and passing on what needs to be passed on.
That is really hard. There are different types of prophecy and different types of prophets. And some are more acceptable than others, even in churches where prophecy is accepted. Some people prophesy in tongues and then there is a translation by another person. I am not sure that that is always done by a prophet..I tend o think of htat as being sort of a jolt of prophecy rather than a career of prophecy. Then there are the prophets that get up in front of people and are very authorative. They speak in booming voices.."Thus sayeth the Lord of Hosts...." and that kind is very impressive...and cool. I used to aspire to that because it seemed so very spiritual.
Then there is my kind. "You know I was talking to God yesterday and this is what He said...." Pretty matter of fact..not at all impressive. Maybe a little too casual. I don't know. I am passionate about Jesus Christ. I am so passionate about Him that I get frustrated with my lack of awe at the fact He is the Creator of the universe....It seems to me that when He talks to me I should fall in a heap at His feet...Yet He is also my Love...and I am pretty sure that He would prefer that I love Him passionately than look on with awe. There is no need for relationship with awe...but there is a deep need for relationship with passion.
Respect definitely.
My lack of impressive qualites may keep me from qualifying as a prophet in some people's minds but as long as I am hearing and speaking and moving in my gifting as I am told then I am impressing hte only ONe I care about.
My prayer is that I would be obedient above all else.
FUnny..I never give Words at our church that we are at now...I am not sure why..but I was talkign to Marc about it today..concerned that it was because I had somehow been disobedient or missed God...He felt that it was because it would not be accepted where we are..And as if to encourage me, after service the Lord unexpectedly gave me a strong Word for a friend of my son's...so strong that i almost fell out under the strength of just saying it.
ANd it did not start, "Thus sayeth the Lord..."